Power of Prayer

To all who have been reading/stalking my blog... most of you know about my 3 1/2 yr old nephew Jaxon, he was diagnosed with stage 4 of a rare cancer Nueroblastoma... they have been going in for chemo and such to hopefully shrink the massive tumor in his "tummy" since early November...Earlier today Jaxon went under for surgery to remove the shrunken tumor, and as the text i received read, "Jaxon is out, surgeon said it couldn't have gone smoother" woooooooosh and a HUGE weight was lifted of my shoulders! i had been stressing about this surgery for MONTHS! i called and talked to Michelle she told me a little more about the surgery and when i asked if Jaxon understood what happened today she told me the CUTEST thing... he knew that they were going to get the "bad guys" out of his tummy... while on the phone with me, Jaxon woke up and complained about pain (i mean the kid just had MAJOR surgery!) and was complaining about the bad guys in his tummy, to which Michelle put him at ease that they got all the bad guys, he just has to get better now. so there's that. next up he has another round of Chemo and then they have some major bone marrow surgery (which Michelle said is way scarier than this one, so we're not out of the water yet! prayers are still MUCH appreciated!)

onto my story of the night. and the real reason for the title.... although i'm 100% sure that everyone's prayers played a part in Jaxon's smooth surgery! Every wednesday night, i drive my friend Steph to work. she has to work the graveyard on Wednesday's and she is working on getting her permanent license but until than she's got the next best thing, a permit. So i drive her to work and then make the trip back home... SOLO. So Steph's car has a taillight out, it's not the bulb, there is like a short in the wiring ( we suspect from when one of the single marines felt confident enough in installing her Sub and next thing she knows half her wiring is on the fritz) Anyway, so usually we get pulled over and they inform us of the taillight.. now we are pretty enough that SO FAR we have just gotten warnings and such (i'm REALLY good at looking all innocent and somehow "forgetting" everything being married to a mechanic taught me) i'm also really good at flirting with the cops. the awesome thing about the military police, is that they don't have quota's (as far as i know!) so they aren't REQUIRED to write out so many tickets... so if you are sweet as pie to them (since most are single marines, and they deal with other douchebag marines all day) you can usually get out of it. now i don't speed, and i ALWAYS follow traffic laws ESPECIALLY on base... and i know PLENTY of other wives who are always complaining about the MP'S(military police) and how much they hate them and yada yada yada... now if they were to just slather on the charm a bit, they wouldn't have to complain so much! now i know i get alot of crap for "flirting" with the cops from other wives... but guess what! my insurance is REALLY cheap. between Rye and I we only have ONE ticket, and that is when i was caught going 7 OVER... ya, i got a ticket for that... but i was speeding and it was towards the end of the month... i got caught speeding, so i technically deserved it... but we have ZERO wrecks on our record so insurance is reasonable... i can't say the same for some other wives... my husband LOVES getting paid. and as LITTLE as has to go to insurance the better for his mood, and my own! so i will batt my eyelashes, and bring my voice up half an octive... dont' judge me :)

ok so tonight i was getting ready to take Steph, and we both know our luck with the taillight is running out.. as we've been pulled over for it nearly weekly since the start of the year. and last week around midnight this cop tells me he SHOULD give me a ticket because i'm DRIVING her car with the taillight out. but he didn't (usually if you can make them laugh/smile, they cut you a break!) but i was kinda stressing out because i'm REALLY sleepy tonight (i mean obviously... i'm blogging!) and i didn't want to deal with getting pulled over, and trying to sound charming. while also trying not to slur my words from sleepy-ness. so i said a quick prayer before i left that i wouldn't have to deal with being pulled over tonight.... so on my way TO Steph's work, a cop was going to pull out behind me, but instead pulled out right in front of me. 2 cops passed me going the other way as well. On my way back 2 more cops passed me BEFORE i hit the base, there were 2 cops at the gate (i may have kept my headlights off a little longer than i should have..shhh) then i passed a cop that was pulling out right behind me, but he quickly changed his blinker and went the other direction... seriously, SOMEONE was answering my prayers. so then i get home, get Dee back in bed but can't fall right to sleep... so i start writing this blog, and Rye gets online... someone is watching out for me :)

Blogging Hiatus

first of all... happy march! and happy fast Sunday! as some of you may or may not know... the first Sunday of the month our church has what we call "Fast Sunday" here is a small explaination for those of you who know not of this practice.

On Fast Sunday, members of the church are encouraged to fast for two consecutive meals; most members of the church choose to skip the first two meals on Sunday, though some skip the last meal on Saturday and the first meal on Sunday. Members are also encouraged to give the money they save by not eating as a fast offering which will be used by the church to help the needy. The Sunday date is in marked contrast to most other Christian denominations that encourage fasting but invariably exempt Sundays.

now i'll be totally honest... i'm not very good about fasting... HEY at least i admit this :) today however is different. Jaxon is going in for surgery on Tuesday... hopefully to remove the tumor that they have been aggressively trying to shrink... so today ALOT of our family (the Gardiner AND the Wynn side) are fasting and praying for him... so here i sit... in a towel (don't judge me) i just showered and am about to get ready for church HALLELUJAH!!!! I was soo sick the entire month of february, that i was not able to attend church. plus if any of you know how many babies there are in a Mormon church, i didn't think it fair to spread my bronchitis germs around.

I went to this store yesterday "reuse Hawaii" and i may have fallen in LOVE! seriously. it's far better than any thrift store. when homes are demolished, this place takes their windows, doors, fixtures, hardware yada yada yada you get the point.. they have soo many antique looking windows and doors, which was HEAVEN for me, with all the projects i'm currently trying to do.. and NOW i'll be able to complete them for FAAAAR less than if i were to just BUY them at like pier one... one project for instance, will cost me MAYBE $25...... if i were to buy the less cute but pre-done version at pier 1.... are you ready for this.. you MAY have a heart attack... $180... ya, my husband would KILL me... i don't know about yours. anyway, pictures to come! woohoo!!!

i haven't heard from Riley in a while, but last i did, he was doing fine. There has been some "boy drama" so communication has been on the fritz. i always love Sundays, cause it's another week down. So i know you are wondering how much longer on this deployment... well screw opsec i'm going to tell you... are you ready?



you sure?


ONLY __ weeks left!! BUAHAHAHAA you totally thought i was actually going to tell you :) lets just say, it's a week less than last week.

i ordered what i expect to be the most AMAZING cookbook this week. i also ordered Kat one, and she said it's pretty much AWESOME! check it out here our best bites cookbook   it's some good ol' fashioned Mormon mom cooking :) which is the BEST kind of cooking. i'm excited for it.

alright well i promise to blog more... Deezul popped off my b and v key... so i am having to type by hitting those two keys very carefully.. it's a bit slower.. so THAT is why i haven't blogged this week. anyway i hope you all have and AMAZING Sunday.

Oh Say Can You See!

for those of you that are friends with me on facebook, you may have seen my status this afternoon about our National Anthem... i honestly think it is one of the most gorgeous songs ever. i've been to numerous events with Riley(dirt biking, car races) and 9 times out of 10, whoever is singing... BUTCHERS the song. it IS an extremely difficult song to sing, but those who CAN sing it, can give me chills (and if they are really good, make my eyes water). Having my husband join the military was not something we were planning on when we were 16, laying in the grass talking about our futures. Heck, it wasn't something we were planning on when i was 20 and we were laying in the grass talking about our future. it's funny how things play out. I've always LOVED this song, i had the priveledge of singing it twice now, (once with a group of about 6 when i was still living in washington.. and i'm sure i sounded like a chipmunk, and the 2nd time was with my long time best friend Lauren, at our schools basketball game) i'd like to think i didn't butcher it for people... except for the first time, but i was like 9 and thats to be expected :) but i was NO WHERE near the point of giving anyone the chills. haha, usually about once every 6-9 months... i get re-addicted to this song, and listen to like a BILLION renditions on youtube. today friends, was one of those days. so for your listening pleasure, here is my pick of the day. :)


GLEE! i LOOOVE this version! she is insanely talented!!!

i'm so thankful for our country, and for all the Brave people who defend it... including that amazing man i married, many years before the military was a real option for him and us. We have it SOOOOO Good because of guys like him who are willing to lay down their own life, if it comes to that, and for what? purely for the love of their country, even if they don't agree with past or current leaders, they stand for the ideal of America... They hold on with the Faith that our country is worth it, that our cause is worth it, That it's the right thing to do,  and that it will all pay off in the end. I am an EXTREMELY proud Marine Wife, and every morning when i roll over and see Riley's uniforms hanging in the closet(i can see them because i haven't hung up laundry in a LOOOOONG time and if i had they would be covered... besides the point) I get the warm fuzzies that what we have faith in as a family, IS right... we ARE doing the right thing, and this country IS worth it.

wow.. i'll stop ranting now :) keep Rye's unit in your prayers as well as Jaxon... Jaxon is home from the hospital (again!) he has one more round of chemo and then they are going to be preparing for surgery to remove the tumor, then he has a few more rounds of chemo and a bone marrow transplant... AND THEN HE TURNS 4! I am so proud of our Nephew, he is such a strong kid. And his parents are amazing, i don't know how they do it, but they inspire me daily!

Don't You Wanna

Alright so this morning has been an interesting one :) really nice though. i woke up to my sister calling, which made me happy because she sent me the NICEST gift, and i got it last night. some gourmet bread from a place i found on the food network called "breadwinners" mmmmmmmmmmmmm i sent one to my dad a few years ago, but i had never tried their bread. I get to talk to her everyday, and we have become really close lately... so she knows how hard everything has been for me lately... and needless to say, it was the PERFECT ending to a horrible day

Check Them out in case you are looking for an amazing last minute Christmas gift.

So this morning i got to talk to my sister in law Michelle, she gave me the update on Jaxon. He just finished his 2nd round of chemo, and is home... running a muck! :) he's been jumping on the beds, and beating his little brother up... being a normal 3 1/2 year old... which of course brought tears to my eyes and made me soo happy. I want nothing more for Christmas than for him to be healthy. i would happily give up more time with Riley if Jaxon will just get better. And no Rye.. that doesn't mean i don't love you :) i know you would gladly stay in Afghan if it would help.... which it won't. but he's doing REALLY well. they are going in next week to harvest some of his bone marrow that they will use for a transfusion a little later on. and the week of Christmas they are getting tests done to see how the Chemo has been working, and how he's responding... so fingers crossed, and prayers their way please.

I've also been texting Tiff (who i adore!) all morning, she just got an AMAZING score on one of her exams for nursing school SO CONGRATS TIFF you're an amazing girl, and you'll be a fantastic nurse! And Nicole... now i've ALSO known Nicole since like middle school, we were a little closer than Tiff and I... but we still didn't hang out all too much. Her husband is in Law school, and she just graduated as an English Major...... ok so she totally reads my blog, and i'll be honest i secretly wonder if as she's reading them she's correcting all my mistakes in her head... sometimes i wish she WOULDN'T read them haha... anyway we recently decided to be texting buddies, since we're both living in new places far away from home. she's super adorable, and oh so crafty! Check out her blog here!

After getting off the phone with Michelle, i was playing with Deezul on the rug and he was winning (of course) when this song came on my Sirius radio.. i fell in love INSTANTLY so i thought i would pass it along. i LOVE the lyrics with it as well.

And... as always... here are the lyrics. i hope you fall in love just like i did.

i really hate to let this moment go
touching your skin and your hair falling slow
when your goodbye kiss, feels like this

Chorus:

don't you wanna stay here a little while
don't you wanna hold each other tight
don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight
don't you wanna stay here a little while
we can make forever feel this way
don't you wanna stay

lets take it slow i don't want to move to fast
i don't wanna just make love, i wanna make love last
when your up this high, it's a sad goodbye

(Repeat Chorus)

oh yeah!!!
oh it feels so perfect baby..
don't you wanna stay here a little while..
(Repeat Chorus)

Don't you wanna stay..
yeah yeah yeahhh
yeah yeah yeahhh

Christmas Cards

Alright so i haven't sent out Christmas cards in a few years, i really LOVED doing them, but with him being gone both last year and this year i didn't even have a little bit of motivation to do so. a few friends have been planning on it and ordered some from walmart and costco, but i couldn't find any layouts that i REALLY loved. but then a friend of mine blogged about this AWESOME promo from Shutterfly

SHUTTERFLY 50 Free Christmas Cards


they have SOO many cute ones! i've never used Shutterfly before, but i have been wanting to try them out for a long time, so what a perfect way to do so! Check them out, you're sure to find a bunch that you want and then have to make the tough decision i am not having to make... here are a few of my favorites.
This One! or This One! or This One! and This One Too!

I really love those last two, and they both benefit different Charities. the 3rd one is actually a LiveStrong card... and for those of you that don't know Rye too well, his HERO is Lance Armstrong... I loved the card and THEN saw it was for that Charity... so i know that will be a big contender.

This season is for giving thanks, and remembering those people in our life that we are glad we have around. I may not be having a big time Christmas this year, but it is making me focus more on the Christ aspect of it this year. don't get me wrong, i love a carmel apple cider as much as the next girl. and i REALLY love getting mail and letters... and most of my friends have now gotten my address to send me a card, so why shouldn't i do the same. we have had a crazy year, and i'm sure people would love to get a card, and know that we have ONE normal thing in our life.

here are a few links for different kinds of cards they do. so you can send cards all throughout the year!

Holiday Cards http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/holiday-cards

New Baby Cards (as apposed to old baby cards) http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/baby-cards

Thank You Cards http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/thank-you-cards

I really love all the cards that they have! So take a look, you will probably fall in love and end up ordering some! and if you do! throw one in the Mail for me, i could use all the holiday cheer i can get.

Those are a few of the pics i'm thinking about using, and Riley has decided this is the card he REALLY wants. and wants me to send him one in Afghan.

Please continue to pray for my husband's Unit and all the other men with him fighting this war against terror. and also Pray for Jaxon, he's finishing up his 2nd round of Chemo today and should be at home recovering tomorrow. his spirits are high, his hair is gone... and he's such a strong little Fighter...

Count Your Many Blessings

Today will not be a very upbeat post, and for that i apologize in advance. i know i know, deployment is still a few weeks away so "depressing Emo Sav" should still be in hibernation... but this is a completely different blog post for me to have to do.

You know how when you see those t.v. commercials for dying children in Africa, or St. Judes hospital commercials with child cancer patients... Some of you may just kind of tune those commercials out and say "sucks for them" while depending on the time of month some of you may just start bawling while watching it and can't believe that the world is such a sad place. Most of us, no matter our reaction have the exact same thought at one point of these commercials "i'm glad it's not me/my family".. if you're a mother, you may want to wake the kids up and snuggle them to death. My point being, we have a little bit of that invincibility reaction it's a sad statistic that at least 12,400 children are diagnosed with cancer every year, but it normally doesn't affect our day to day life too much.

I am not a mother... nor are any of my sibblings parents yet. But as most of you know when me and Riley were married his parents and his sister(and her husband) lived in St George. So that's where we lived, close to his family. and shortly after we were married Michelle & Bobby (Riley's sister and her husband) announced to us that after trying for a long time, they were pregnant with their first. i was sooo happy for her. And of course, being a newly wed, i was a little jealous. In late May 2007, we were woken up bright and early around 5:30-ish saying that Michelle was about to give birth. So we got up, got dressed and hurried over to the hospital. and there i met my nephew Jaxon Loren Wynn. Now before he was born i was excited.. but kind of how a friend is excited for another friend to have a baby.. because this child would be blood related to Riley.. but in no way other than marriage would he be my relative... HOWEVER, i met this little guy, and he absolutely stole my heart. I was "Aunt Sav" from that moment on. He had jaundice so he had to be under the lights at home for a while, but he was perfect. over the next year we would go visit little "Bubba J" even though Michelle and Bobby were overprotective first time parents... we bonded with that amazing little kid. he started walking and talking and could kinda say his name by proudly yelling "AXIE" to anyone who asked his name. he would march around the livingroom and kitchen yelling like a war cry type thing for like HOURS and trace the same path every time. I can't help but laugh everytime i imagine him doing this. cause he's FRICKEN FUNNY. in late 2008 Michelle and Bobby were pregnant again, and in August 2009 Michelle gave birth to another little boy. They had kept his first name a secret through the pregnancy but asked us if we would mind if they gave him the middle name Riley in honor of his uncle. who as they put it was such a great man, and the role model they wanted for their sons. how do you say no to that one? So Boden Riley Wynn was a little more than 2 years younger than Jaxon. On December 1st 2009 Riley left for bootcamp. and i moved 4 hours away from St George for while he was gone. during that time, Jaxon was potty trained, and would constantly call me to yell "NANA! PEE IN POTTY!!!" and i was the proudest aunt in the history of the world.

So now i live ... i have no idea how many miles.. but i'm going to guess 3,000 miles away from my in-laws. Michelle and I talk at least a few times a week. she's become one of my best friends, and favorite people in the world. i look forward to talking to her, hearing about my amazing nephews and hearing about the random dramas that affect her daily life. in August of this year, Bo turned 1. And Michelle informed me that Bobby got a job offer in northern Utah, paying a good deal more. and as you all know, we as american's tend to go where the money is. Riley and I were really worried about his parents, because they were having a VERY tough time with us living soo far away. So now they were going to be losing both their children... ok not really but going from having your kids and their spouses/kids soo close to having them all live far far away is a hard thing. Michelle kept me informed on how the house hunt was going, they eventually found a place that they loved and was perfect and they moved in. Jaxon called it the "red house" cause it had one red wall inside. in September the started Jaxon in a preschool to help him with his speech development. He seemed to be doing really well, he went a few times a week for an hour or so. That's mostly what we'd talk about on the phone every week... neither of us wanted to come to terms with the fact that her brother(my husband) would soon be leaving to go fight the war in Afghanistan... i would only bring it up if i had news about dates or anything else that i felt she would want/need to hear.

As you all know, Riley's parents came to visit us about 2 weeks ago for a week long visit. Right before they came i was on the phone with Michelle and she told me that she thought Jaxon had a disease that would make him allergic to gluten. she told me how he was complaining ALL the time about his tummy hurting. he wouldn't want to go play with his cousins in the mcdonalds playplace and would just want to go home. she was glad to get the testing so if he WAS allergic to gluten she could adjust his diet so he'd feel better. she let me know that they were doing the testing the following week. the day after the testing i called to see how it went, she said that it wasn't the gluten thing they were thinking it was and they were doing more testing. we didn't really think anything of it and went on with our vacation. Friday morning we took Riley's parents to the airport and they promised to call us when they landed in Vegas to let us know they got home ok.

Later on Friday, we got a call from Riley's dad saying that they landed in Vegas, but had some bad news. The doctors had done some tests and were almost positive that Jaxon had Leukemia. I think at that point we were in shock. i called Michelle and she told me the same thing, they were doing more tests and were really hoping that it WASN'T leukemia, but if it was they were ready to fight and win against it.

Then on Saturday i talked to her and she told me that the doctors ran some more tests... and Jaxon did NOT have leukemia. he has a tumor in his stomach and stage 4 cancer that has now spread to his bones. he has what they call Neuroblastoma, and is a high risk patient. he's starting Chemo in 4 days, and from what i understand he'll basically be doing Chemo and radiation for the next year (could be wrong on that so don't quote me). he's had a few blood transfusions already and is on morphine while home to help control the pain. they are hoping they can do surgery in like 6 months after a bunch of rounds of chemo to remove the tumor, they are hoping the Chemo can shrink it so it will be easier to remove.

Basically my 3 1/2 year old nephew has Cancer, an advanced stage of cancer. the THOUGHT of him sick from chemotherapy makes me get all teary eyed. He's sick, and all i want is for him to be better. when he's home he lays on the couch and watches TV. Bo wants to play but Jaxon yells at him to "GET OUTA HERE BO" so Bo is sad that he doesn't have his big brother to play with. Shellee(my mother in law) is heading up there this weekend to stay with them and take care of Bo while Bobby is at work, and Michelle and Jaxon are at the hospital.

Riley is leaving for Afghan soon, and now on top of everything else, he's going to be having to worry about how his nephew is doing. if anything happens he WON'T be able to come home for any reason, because he is a nephew, not a sibbling. it's just not fair, ya know. i mean here is this family who goes to church, pays tithing, is nice to EVERYONE (sure they were a bit wierd when they first had Jaxon, but MOST first time parents are that way)... i know that NO child deserves to be this sick, but in this case i feel like on top of that, My sister in law has enough on her plate, and SHOULDN'T have to be in the hospital watching her son get Chemo treatments. she is keeping such a positive attitude though, as best as can be expected in such a situation. finding any funny thing that one of the boys did and laughing about that on the phone, rather than focus on the scary stuff.

So as my title says... Count your blessings. when you see those commercials, go wake the kids up just to give them ONE MORE hug good night and tell them how much you love them. and then if you would, say a little prayer for my nephew. he's honestly my favorite little guy in the whole world, he's going to beat this thing. He has so much to fight for.