my cleverness may have run out.

only because i couldn't think of an awesome blog title post. who knows if anyone ever even gets my references in most of my blog post titles... but it may surprise you that i spend alot of time thinking of a witty title to catch your attention. alright so enough on titles..... and onto the post!

Well Riley called last night :) it had been 6 days since i'd heard from him, so it definitely made me sooo happy. i had a rough week, with getting my feelings hurt, a possible haunting in my apartment, and living off few hours of sleep! he seems to be doing good. He's more ready to come home than you could possibly know. He misses me, and is missing Deezul alot too. he'll be so surprised at home much that chunk has grown! it's crazy to look back and see all that has happened in the last month that he's been gone. well he's not coming home yet, that will have to wait a little longer. i REALLY miss him.

we were talking last night about his upcoming deployment. and ever time we do, i realize more and more we talk about it... and as unready as i think i am, i think i'll be able to get through it. i was raised to be a strong woman. i will most likely regret saying all this... but such is life. i am so so so so so ready for it to be fall 2011 when all of this is OVER, and i can get back to just being married to the most fantastic man on earth. i'm terrified, let me just throw that out there. i'm probably being so optimistic because when i really step back and think about everything i know about his deployment, i wouldn't be able to function... any military wife will completely understand. it's a coping method, but it seems to be an effective one... so i'll keep doing it :)

what else is new... i really miss all my old friends, like alot!!! i'm used to spending all my time with people who don't take your insecurities and make you feel worse about them. i'm really trying to have tougher skin, but lets face it, thats not who i am. i get my feelings hurt, not extremely easily, like i'm not overly sensitive. But c'mon people lets use common sense. when you think about opening your mouth and making a comment... think about how upset you would be if someone said it to you. in the same tone you're about to use. because while i may have pretended it didn't hurt, and you may have gone on with the night like nothing had happened. i went home and cried myself to sleep over what you said to me. the worst part is that i didn't even say anything to deserve the comment... i made a comment on something that had nothing to do with anything, and NO possible way of offending anyone. i already know that i'm not Gorgeous, i've never pretended i was, i go to the gym because i WANT to achieve an ideal of perfection that let's face it, will probably never be attained. i don't sit around and talk about how much i LOVE my body, because i don't. there are times when i hate everything about myself, and i have ALOT of issues that stem from that. things that are NONE of your business and only 3 people will even understand what i'm talking about. my point is, you don't know what happens behind closed doors in a persons life. and making rude comments, can REALLY mess someone up. this life is NOT for putting people down and bringing yourself up, we should be encouraging each other to reach our full potential... which is what i try my hardest to do. i am SO sorry if i've ever made a comment about you, especially something about you that you have no control over. God made us each a whole lot different from each other. so when you insult someone and their ears or toes (no this is NOT what the whole post is about just a random body part i named so i wouldn't be so general!) you are really insulting something that god saw and said "hey, i think i done good on that one!!!" as i was crying myself to sleep over what you said to me, God was probably pretty sad too that you decided that he must have messed up on me.