Oh Geez (kinda long.. but entertaining)

Ok, so we are winding down on the deployment.... now when I say that, it's not like "Oh your husband is coming home soon and you're counting down the days... that means it must be SOON".... well for most of the normal world... it's not, but to me... a wife who has been without her better half for about half a year now... it seems unreal that we are getting close to the end. i've been CRAZY busy trying to get the apartment perfect for when Rye gets home. As most of you know i've done ALOT of painting... we now have SIX different colors in our house... i promise it looks good! however i am keeping the rest of the apartment a secret until Rye gets home, so you will all have to wait until then to see my masterpiece.

So on to my story! My bestfriend of YEARS Lauren is graduating this friday, and I (being an awesome friend) will be there! it has been almost exactly a year since i arrived on this island and i have not left the island since arriving. Since my husband is military i am able to fly for free on what they call Space A... sounds pretty insanely awesome right... well don't go getting too jealous on me, it's turned into a nightmare... i have about 72 hours to make it all the way to Utah, i was planning on catching a flight this morning... (it would have left right about now) however around midnight, they decided to make that flight disappear (cause they are the military, and they can do that) there is now ONE flight off the island and to the states... landing in southern california... only problem is... the ONLY base that flies to the base i NEED is in Washington... and i called that base, and EVEN if i somehow find a flight from a SoCal base up to Washington...they have ZERO flights between now and when i need to be in Utah. so i can either attempt to somehow find a way to get to the base in Vegas, have my in-laws pick me up, and then have Lauren meet me in st george... OR i can try and find a one way ticket from Cali to Utah... at this point, i am about ready to sit down and CRY!!!!!!

Don't go calling me a baby just yet... ALL this happened at the end of the day i had yesterday (i laid down to take a nap around 2 and woke up at 5 cause i'm stressing about flying)

So like i mentioned earlier i've been on island for almost a year. and the military STILL has not shipped our household goods to us. ya, everything from our house and life (pre-military) has been sitting in BOXES, in a storage unit for almost 2 years now. i arrived here with one suitcase, and have pretty much had to start from scratch... dealing with crappy "aloha" furniture... these are the most uncomfortable pieces of furniture you can imagine, yet since i've had to deal with them for almost a year, i don't even notice that the FULL sized mattress is covered in plastic. or when you sit on the couch, you get a bamboo stick right where it isn't so pleasant... or welcome. This to me, is part of being a GOOD military wife, being able to adapt... and do so with a good attitude. all my friends here have heard me say for the last year "OOH OOOH I HAVE THAT! AND IT'S REALLY NICE....... but it's in storage" i am SICK of bragging about crap that i don't even have access to!!!!

every time i go into the office to get this done, they send me back and forth between a few buildings and tell me i don't have what i need to get it done. or they WON'T move it cause he's deployed, OR that they won't move it cause it's in a storage unit.... seriously, it's bull crap. so THIS is my adventure... if you are NOT military, i will do my best to explain what's going on (in Sav terms of course)

Definitions before we start
TMO- this is the crappy place where crappy Marines DON'T help you get your stuff sent here. they find them most unpleasant Marine and stick him at the front desk.. so the first thing you see when moving to a new place, is an unfriendly face.

IPAC- this is actually probably worse than TMO... this is a place where they keep EVERY piece of paperwork you need... you bring them a list of what you need.... they give you SOME of it, and tell you that they gave you everything needed from the list.

FRO- this is the Family Readiness Officer... to the spouse of a deployed Marine, she is like Santa, or Dumbledore... or Oprah... you tell her what you want/need... she makes it happen.

Friday
alright, so i am thinking to myself, "Sav, you're going to be in Utah, you should see if you can get your crap boxed up and shipped to you while you are there" then i thought BACK "psh, TMO can't get their heads out of their butts to help me do this... lost cause." i mentioned this internal conversation to my good friend Trudy, who informed me that SHE also had troubles with TMO 6 months before, and was fully willing to throw a total FIT on my behalf (awesome friend right!!!) we head over to IPAC to grab the papers we KNOW TMO is going to ask us for. i hand the idiot at IPAC my paper and say "I need all of these... EVERYTHING on that list" he comes back with a stack, hands it to me, says i have all the right "orders" i ask him "Are you sure? i don't have to go to the 3rd deck to get anything else?" he answers confidently "NOPE, you got it all here, you are 100% set and ready to go" now it's about 2 pm... both of these offices don't open till like 9, then they close at 11 until 1 for lunch (yup... 2 hours) they come back to work and are off work by 4... so they are not really "customer friendly" hours. we head over to TMO, walk in, the place is CROUDED. The guy at the front desk was surprisingly helpful and SUPER nice. I told him my situation, that i was flying out first thing the next week and NEEDED it all done immediately. he let me know he could get it ALL done on monday, but he was absolutely SLAMMED at the moment, took my form i filled out, informed me it was now all on this website and i needed to get that done over the weekend, and on monday he'd push it all through for me...thank goodness! easier than i imagined... right?

Sunday
I have been super busy all weekend but hurry and get on the website to get this crap done. this website is not compatable with.... are you ready for this? ok.... Mac (any mac's) firefox, internet explorer 6 or 7 on windows vista, or windows xp... not compatable at ALL on windows 7... ugh, shoot me NOW! so i download the right version of internet explorer, but because my computer is windows 7 (i'm sorry that i have the up to date technology!!!!!!) i cannot access the link i need! after 3 hours of trying, i fall asleep while talking to Rye(it was only 9:30... and YES, he gave me plenty of crap about that.. but if you feel the need, go ahead and lay on some more!)

Monday
i wake up at 5:30, and get back on the website by 6... Trudy was planning on heading over around 9-ish so i had 3 hours to finish the forms on this website. however i encountered the SAME issuses... ugh so i call a few people, have them try... still NOTHING. at this point i really am almost to tears, beyond frustrated, and worried now more than before that i will NOT be able to get this all done. Trudy arrives with proper caffeine for me...( i have not had ANY caffeine and VERY little carbonation since Rye left... but the closer to the end of deployment, the more crap i have to get done, and a low carb monster just gets me GOIN!!!) i tell Trudy about this bullcrap website that TMO is forcing me to endure, she agrees (total bullcrap) and says we are going straight over there instead of wasting time on a stupid website that isn't helpful. So we walk inside, and there is the most unpleasant looking man at the counter (i say man, but he was probably a year or two younger than me... although his receding hairline and extra poundage made him look older. i Tell (let's call him Stephen... which may or may not be all or part of his name) "i was in here on Friday, the guy at the counter told me to come back today, you guys could squeeze me in, cause i'm flying to Utah tomorrow and i need to get this all done NOW"
-Stephen"Who told you that??"
me- "i don't know, the guy that was up here on friday" (i then proceeded to give him a rundown play by play of fridays conversation.)
-Stephen "ya, that won't happen... who was it? what skin color was he?"
me- "i don't know... white" Trudy shakes her head no at the same time stupid Stephen does
Stephen "i'm the only white guy that works here" as there are 4 or 5 other white guys walking around WORKING.... at this point i just want to scream
"well then i don't know i'm not a fricken racist, all i know is he was pretty good looking (much more than you!) he was taller than you, more helpful than you, and a heck of a lot nicer than you too!" but i didn't say that... i did repeat that rant later on to our FRO... but not when it really counted.

Stephen then tells me that not ONLY am i missing another form from IPAC(go figure) but that he then calls me a retard for not figuring out his stupid website. (yes he actually called me a retard... i replied back with "did you just call me a retard" and he shot back "well the system isn't the problem" wow buddy) informs me that he cannot get anyone to "counsel" me until Friday, and then it'll take another 2-3 weeks for them to pick my crap up. at this point i'm getting pissed... because mr. apparently not white on friday told me he could get my crap picked up in the 2 weeks i'd be in Utah. and they could help me schedule that ON THAT DAY!!! at this point it's 10:45... so Stephen is now trying to get rid of us (so he can go stuff his face for 2 hours) he tells me i need to get the form from IPAC and then bring it back "you can bring it back here at 1300... that's 1 o'clock" wow.... doucher, thanks for clarifying. and THEN they can make an appointment for me... but since i'll be out of town, i will need to contact my husband, and have him fill out the legal forms to give someone else power of attorney to get "counseled" for us... and THEN since it'll be so delayed, he'll have to get his mom power of attorney as well to be there when they get our crap... yes, let me just ring Afghan and ask for my husband.

We walk out and i am FUMING. as we're pulling out, Stephen is taking off his cami blouse and getting in his car for an early lunch. we rush over to ipac hoping to get there before they close for their 11:30-1 lunch (not QUITE as ridiculous) we walk in i hand them the paper, and not very nicely demand "i just need number 6 on that list.. you idiots gave me everything ELSE on friday" he takes one look at it and tells me that i have to get that on 3rd deck... i snatch my paper up, and on my way out the doors i'm mumbling (pretty loudly) "i fricken asked you idiots if i needed to go to 3rd deck and you said no, fricken HATE MY LIFE!" yup... guys were staring. now i could type for EVER on what went on up on the 3rd deck... pretty much, alot of guys standing around playing on their phones, trying as hard as they could to NOT be helpful... 45 minutes later i had what i needed and we got the crap out of there!

Furious at this point i storm into our FRO's office. and begin to rant about how i've been here over 11 months and STILL have a plastic covered mattress... and i fricken hate deployments, and IPAC AND TMO SUCK... i think i may have threatened the lives of some of the not so helpful people. she let me rant for about 5 minutes (as her and Trudy laughed at my description of the way things went down... hey, we all know that i'm always looking for the story or "adventure" in everything)  She calmly tells me that shooting the people in ipac is NOT ok... only cause she is needing their cooperation on something currently as well (HAHA) she picks up the phone and calls IPAC... tells them whats up, and pretty much that i'm important and they don't want to piss me off anymore.... (ok so she didn't say that... EXACTLY) Gets off the phone and informs me that i am to report in at 13:30 and they will get me taken care of BEFORE i leave for Utah. she tells me who i am going to see and Trudy tells me that is mr. not white but good looking from friday THANK GOODNESS! SOMEONE WHO SEEMED WILLING TO HELP ME.our FRO tells me to call her if they DON'T help me, and she'll raise a little hell for me (liking this woman more and more)

after a small child crisis (i forgot i offered to watch Sam's girls for a few hours.. so i had to find somewhere to stash them for a while, so i could go to this appointment) (yup... i used the words Stash and Children in the same sentence... go ahead and judge me) we get back to stupid TMO and get to sit and wait (which i'm ok with because i was told they would squeeze me in) we saw LOTS of interesting things during our wait. but the ONLY thing worth reporting is that a CPL who was obviously infantry, and OBVIOUSLY had some unresolved anger issues (possibly resulting from dealing with the guys at TMO the WEEK before he deploys... just a thought. well stupid Stephen (who is lower ranking than this CPL) asks if he needs help... (at this point the CPL has been sitting across from us WAITING for like 20 minutes... and this is the first anyone has said to him he snaps back with (oh and anywhere i use a word that doesn't sound so bad,... like freakin... it's actually the F-word. i know.. classy right?!) "did you freakin look at your roster?!"
Stephen- "excuse me?"
CPL angry- "your freakin roster! DID YOU EVEN FREAKIN LOOK AT IT?!" gets up walks over to the sign in sheet and starts hitting each line with his finger... while SCREAMING at stupid Stephen "RIGHT FREAKIN HERE, RANK E-4 NAME CPL ____ TIME 1352 REASON POV... DID YOU FREAKIN LOOK AT THAT AT ALL! WHY HAVE ONE IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO EVEN LOOK AT IT! YOU FREAKIN RETARD"
Stephen- "oh.....ummmmm.... well then... have you been helped yet?"
CPL Angry- "DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'VE BEEN HELPED?! I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR 20 MINUTES, MY APPOINTMENT WAS NOW 10 MINUTES AGO, WHICH I WAS 10 MINUTES EARLY TO. NOOO I HAVEN'T BEEN FREAKIN HELPED" 

it. was. beautiful.... while YES this CPL had some anger issues, and he may have been a bit extreme... Stephen TOTALLY deserved it... as he has successfully screwed everyone i know over when it comes to TMO. So that was pretty much my day... i got my TMO figured out (thus far at least!) hopefully all goes smoothly when i get to Utah (IF I EVER GET THERE!) i am sure i will have some awesome adventures to blog about during my trip home, and i can't wait to fill you all in... and hopefully i'll be able to do so while unpacking all of my stuff that should hopefully be here a few weeks after i return... WOO HOO!!!!

if you have stuck with me through this whole post.. i hope you have been thoroughly entertained... it was a day of LOTS of anger, and surprisingly no tears... though i expected the type you get when you are so angry and don't know HOW to express that! :)