Happy Birthday Miles!

Here is the long awaited birth story, only 3 weeks later (oops). Also I apologize again for TMI... I'm going to try and recount the day moment by moment. I will start by saying that it was probably the most emotionally draining day of my entire life. There were no rainbows and fluffy bunnies... It was freakin rough.
September 5th 2012
We got the call from the hospital at 11:45 pm on the 4th. The nurse told us to be there by 1:30. So we woke up got out of bed, woke the moms up, gathered the hospital bags and loaded them in the car. We took Deezul outside to pee one last time, and tried to make sure that we had everything we would need.  Thinking back, I should have eaten something. We had dinner at 6:30, but I was so worried about not making it there by 1:30 that stopping for food wasn't even in my thoughts. Lesson learned.

1:30- Arrived at Labor & Delivery. We were told we would be in room 8. The midwife took Rye and I back so we could get settled before our moms came back. We entered the room with our bags, took one last belly picture and talked while I put on the awesomely horrid gown about how excited we were and how exciting the day was going to be.

2 am- I was laid down and given my IV. The moms joined us and we settled in for a long night/day. My nurse asked to go over my birth plan with me so she knew what expectations I had.

I have ALWAYS said that the most important thing to me was a healthy baby and delivery. So while I did have a birth plan, I saw it as more of a dream list... knowing that it would be naive to think I wouldn't have to sway from it at all. Here were the basics-

• Pain med free
• Delayed cord cutting
• Skin to skin right away
• Calm lighting 
• limited monitoring 
• External monitoring preferred
• Avoid C-section

We will revisit that plan at the end of the post. 

2:20am- I had a foley bulb placed to help dilate my cervix manually. 

2:20-6ish- Contractions continued but were light enough I just had to do a little breathing. They just felt like bad menstrual cramps. We watched Princess and the frog and other movies I had packed. Riley and both our moms found places to crash out and get a few more hours of sleep. I was in and out, never fully getting to sleep. 

7AM- I was checked. The midwife said I was at 4cm still 80%. The foley bulb came out and she talked to me about breaking my water to really get things going. This is something I had wanted to avoid, but it wasn't UBER important to me. I agreed that we get the show on the road. Holy crap, that hurt. I was told it doesn't really hurt... ya well it did for me! She told me from this point on they expected me to progress approx 1 cm an hour, give or take. 

Contractions got real after my water was broken. I started having to breath and focus during these. The tiles above me had fish carved into them. So each contraction I would count the bubbles on the tiles until the contraction was over. This worked. I was able to breath through them, no big deal. 

8:30AM- Miles started showing the first signs of distress. His heart rate would drop after each contraction. I lay in the bed, trying to focus on breathing through contractions but also worrying that each contraction brought the possibility of Miles heart rate dropping again. 

10AM- Nurse made a bet with me that I would give birth before lunch and would finally be able to eat. The Midwife checked me, I had only progressed to 5cm. The worrying thing was that I had lost my focus during contractions because everyone was buzzing around trying to keep Miles out of distress. Every contraction everyone stared at the monitor. She told me that at this point if I wanted to avoid a C-section she highly recommended I get an epidural so that my body relaxed as much as possible, and hopefully would relax Miles as well. 

She left so we could talk about it. I had a meltdown. I felt like I was handling labor like a champ. I was breathing and felt like I was doing ok. I mean I wasn't singing or anything but I was doing ok. This was the one HUGE thing I had planned to avoid, and it felt like it was being ripped away from me. The second she had walked out to let us decide, my focus was COMPLETELY gone... and I was suddenly in a lot of pain with every contraction. Rye and I talked through it, I already knew my answer would be yes. I was worrying already about Miles, and would do anything to try and ensure that he not be put under any more stress than he had to. Crying and in pain I looked to Riley, tears in his eyes and a look that I don't see on his face often... He was having a tough time. I'm usually the strong one in our relationship. When things get hard, I put on a brave face. So when I am the opposite of tough, he struggles to have to sit and watch, unable to do anything about it. We had a few tear filled moments before the doc came in to stick a huge needle in my back. After having what felt like acid being injected into my back I was laid back down and put back on the monitors. 

At this point they decided that since I could not feel anything that they would put in an internal monitor so they could up my pitocin level to get things moving. The worlds most glorious nurse came in with two otter pops and let me enjoy some heaven on earth! 

10-5- My contractions continued, we continued to watch Miles HR drop drastically with every contraction. multiple times they would start to lose his HR and they would have to quickly flip me to one side or the other to try and get his HR back up. Rather than relaxing I was worried, really worried. It didn't seem normal the amount of distress he was in. I kept praying that when she came to check me at 5 that I would be close to done so we could get him out of there. At about 4 it was just Riley, Shaunci and I in the room we were talking when suddenly we lost Miles HR almost completely. I watched the horror on Rileys face as he threw himself over me to reach the nurses button to push it. not a second later we had the nurse run into our room... This was NOT turning out to be the magical event I was hoping for. At this time I was put on oxygen (I don't remember what this was for)

5PM- Midwife came in to check me. We were hoping I would at least be at an 8. She checked me, double checked with the nurse what I had been at 10, and then looked at me grimly to inform me that in 7 hours, I had not progressed at all. Normally this would not be a problem, they would just let me labor it out. But our little guy was already not doing well, So she was getting worried. He was falling into distress more often and they were worried that the cord was wrapped around his neck. She ordered that they put a catheter into my uterus to refill it with liquid so that hopefully the cord wouldn't be so tight. She told me at this point she would have to turn me over to the OB's because if I didn't progress by 7PM I would need to do a C-Section, or Miles would be in trouble. I asked for ice chips, but was denied since they all thought I'd be going in for surgery in a short time.

At this point there was a lot of praying going on. I came to the conclusion that if I had not progressed when they came back that I was supposed to have a C-Section. I had 2 hours to come to terms with this and be totally ok with this outcome. The closer the clock got to 7, the more convinced I was that the doc would come in and tell me I had not progressed. They had to take me off the pitocin during this time to try and keep Miles stable. Which meant any contractions I was having were all me. according to the monitor they were not strong enough to cause progression. Which mean I would still be at 5 cm and would be going in for a C-section. 

6pm- I started shivering uncontrollably. They took my temp, I usually run a little cold 97.4 to be exact. At this time I was up to 99

7:30PM- The doc finally rolled in to check me. He looked uneasy and asked the nurse twice what I had been at before. At this point the suspense was killing me, he looked dumbfounded. So I asked the question that everyone was thinking "Did it shrink?!" He looked at me startled and said "No, actually you are at an 8 now, and 100% effaced." WHAT?!?! we had progression!!! 

The nurse checked my monitors at this point and found that one of them was not reading correctly which is why it looked as though the contractions were not strong enough to cause progression. I felt hopeful at this point. I was almost there. And I was going to avoid surgery! My temp at this point was up at 100.4

8:45 pm- The doc came back in to check. I was 10cm and 100%... I was ready to push whenever! We started preparing to start the pushing process. My temp at this point was 101.0. They realized at this point that at some time during the day I had gotten an infection. I would need some tylenol before pushing. The nurse told me she was worried about giving it to me orally cause I would likely throw it up while pushing, and that she wanted to administer it the uhhhh other way. I quickly bartered with her that if she would allow me some ice chips that I would allow her to put tylenol where the sun don't shine. That ice was totally worth it. 

9:05PM- I started pushing, I announced to the room that I was not doing this for more than an hour, and I fully intended on giving birth by 10:05. Pushing is tough, so tough that I made myself dry heave at one point. I probably would have thrown up had I had ANYTHING in my stomach! I pushed like a freaking champ. I didn't care if I crapped on the table, I was going to get that kid out of there! Because of my temperature I was told that he would have to be checked out by the pediatricians and if he had the infection he would have to be taken to the NICU right after birth.

10:00pm- I told everyone that I only had 5 minutes on my clock left and I better get to it. The next part is kind of a blur to me. It had just been the 2 nurses in with us, but all of a sudden about 5 doctors came in followed by 13 more. Something had happened with Miles and they needed to get him out NOW. They were prepping the OR for an emergency C-Section for me but said we'd give it one last ditch effort. I was given the choice of the vacuum or the forceps. I chose the vacuum, I was told we had 3 pushes to get him out or I would be wheeled into the OR. I already had been told by the nurses that I had torn... I'd be damned if I was going to tear AND have to go in for surgery. I was going to push like crazy and I WOULD get him out in those 3 pushes

10:14PM- Almost there

10:16PM- Out popped my little cone headed alien child, cord snuggly around his neck. The cord was cut and he was walked to the other side of the room so they could check him out and make sure he was ok. 

I was in shock. And not the "Oh my gosh I'm a mom and he's amazing" kind of shock. Nope this was the "My body just went through a trauma and I am trying to cope" kind of shock. My shivering continued. I knew that my baby was a few feet away, but honestly couldn't even think about him. I felt awful. something did not feel right. I heard from the other side of the room that he was 8'4 and my mom saying something about how he received a B on his apgar (I think he got 8 out of 10). I did not feel like a champion. I felt like I was laying on the mat with Muhammad Ali prancing above my head. They started on my stitches which took nearly an hour and a half

I was told that I was going to be able to get skin to skin for a few minutes before he would be taken to the NICU, and that Rye would be able to go with him to the NICU. 

I held my baby boy on my chest, I tried to enjoy the moment... and it felt wrong to have to TRY and enjoy that moment. My shoulders were screaming in pain from hours of having to hold them in weird positions trying to keep Miles out of distress. I was shivering an abnormal amount. When I was done holding him, I let the grandma's and Shaunci get a chance. I remember watching them hold my son, and wondering what was wrong with me that I was willing to let him go when I JUST got him. 

11:30 -ish Shaunci and our moms got ready to head out, Riley was heading down to the NICU so the excitement would soon be over. Rye was told that I would be RIGHT down to my room and I would meet him there. The room emptied and soon it was just the nurse and I. She checked my temp again, it was up to 102. I kind of blacked out and when I woke back up she was hooking me back up to another bag of fluids and putting in another catheter. She told me that after my fever spiked, my blood pressure dropped from 120/70 down to 90/50 and my pulse jumped up to 130 while I was asleep. This meant the infection was worse than they thought. I would be kept in the room longer to try and get rid of it as quickly as possible. 

3AM- I was finally done with the infection, and was able to be wheeled down to my room. She opened the door and there was Riley and Miles. And all the love and affection I had some how been cheated out of came pouring out. He was amazing! I felt a wave of relief that I wasn't cold hearted right after birth.. I was just REALLY sick. Pretty much dying (do you hear my over dramatic tone there?)

I asked Rye how long they had been waiting for me. The poor guy informed me that there was another really sick baby in the NICU so he was not able to accompany Miles. They sent him to my room to wait. That was at like 12. Miles showed up 5 minutes before I did... And Rye was not given an update on either of us that entire time. All he knew was that his wife was upstairs sick, and his son was down the hall being assessed. I would have lost my freaking mind if I was him!

So if you look back up to my birth plan. I think the ONLY thing I was able to accomplish on there was that I wanted to be able to give birth vaginally.. and I only BARELY made it out with that one intact!