I just called... to say... I love you!

 so in case you haven't noticed yet... i'm starting to try and title my blog posts with song titles... we'll see how long this lasts for. well i was sitting, reading over my blog posts from BootCamp... and MAN O MAN am i glad those days are OVER!!!! as i was reading through them, cause i had a rough day and was a little sad... i was texting my AMAZING friend laurel and my phone was blinking at me that it wanted to die... well i couldn't just let it die for a number of reasons.
1. i'm staying at my in-laws by myself.. yes they live in a very nice part of town... but IF someone broke in and tried to ravish me... i would like to have a phone to call for help. not just hit them on the head with it.
2. i was in the middle of a textversation(don't know if the kids are calling them that... so if not... i'd like to coin the phrase) and you can't just not answer... then she might think #1 may have happened. and i'd rather not have the sgpd and sgfd show up at my door... talk about a heart attack!
3. My sister in law usually calls me every morning during the week... she usually wakes me up. which is probably a good thing because even though i don't sleep till the wee hours of the morning... i don't need to sleep past 9:30... i'm an adult. so i didn't want her to not be able to get ahold of me in the morning.
so i ran out to my car... in the pitch black mind you. and grabbed my charger. came in plugged it in, and returned to reading blog posts. THEN
my phone started ringing. ringtone: Lovebug - the jonas brothers... make fun if you will... but nothing makes me happier than to hear "and i'm speechless, over the edge, just breathless, never thought that i'd catch this lovebug" not only do i ADORE the JoBro's... against my better judgement, but that is Riley's ringtone... and since november i haven't heard it much. so i thought i was hearing things. i looked down, sure enough Rye's dress blues picture and name were right there. so i answered with "hi CuteBum, are you breaking rules to call me?" he answered no and then hung up.. so i thought FOR SURE he was breaking rules. apparently not cause he called right back. and told me that his group did awesome on their hike and earned 10 minutes of phone time. i guess the 51's (the demolition group) were the only group to NOT have anyone fall out or fall behind on their hike, they stayed tight...
i could kiss every one of em!

anyway... he's doing really well. and i am sooo proud of him. less than 3 weeks and he'll be done with all his training... and we'll be stationed somewhere. and live happily ever after. :)

haha can you see what a state of euphoria his phone call has put me in. awww. i will sleep a happy woman tonight! an i will do so at a decent hour. 11 is a decent our to go to bed right?

g'night! i love my life, and i LOVE my husband

OOH RAH!

I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE (but i won't do that)

alright, so i've been sitting here at the In-Laws with my blank blog up, but my dad-in-law has the utah-denver NBA game on... so i'm a bit distracted... so i'm going to try and get this written... but we'll see how long it takes. i'm glad i can type without looking, so i can watch the game, AND funnyt commercials and STILL type... and now that i'm looking back... only 1 extra letter was added... and i'm going to keep it there :)

ok... so now onto my update... while i was in the car after i picked up Rye this weekend... we had an ALMOST exact conversation that i typed about last week.... i started laughing, and then told him about my post. he thought it was funny to. someone commented and said we fight like an old married couple.... to that i respond. ya, we kinda do. but like the really happy married couples who don't really fight. more like bicker... but in a joking way. sooooo ya.

so i left St George on Friday around 12:30 or so... yes it was a bit late and that is Cali time NOT Utah time. I started driving, and the GPS told me i was going to arrive at 7:18... my new gps is AWESOME by the way. it has my speed on there as well as what the speed limit is where i am. so i hit vegas in REALLY good time, only to hit traffic... and it was BAD. there were 5 lanes, but then 2 branch off from the 15 to the 215... so there are 3 left. immediately after that a car had flipped completely over... bringing us from 5 lanes to 1 in less than a mile... let me just add in here that my car is a manual.. and my feet get claustrophobic so i drive barefoot on long drives.... i had a HUGE blister after that little hold up... and my feet were HURTING from pushing in the clutch for like an hour straight... if you don't drive a manual you won't understand that pain.

so after vegas the gps... i've since named him Doug until a more fitting name can decided. so Doug told me that i would now arrive at 8:05.. so now i'm stressing cause Rye is usually out by 6 or 7..so i call my gpa to discuss whether when i hit cali if Doug is going to take me on the route with the least amount of probable traffic. he said no and we decided on a new route... well that was probably a bad idea... cause i arrived ON base at 8:15pm...uh oh... luckily i hadn't heard from Riley at all... which was stressing me out cause then i was thinking that he might NOT get liberty this weekend and i went through the horrible drive for NOTHING... so i was stressing out only like 10 minutes from HIS part of the base and i get a text from one of his buddies letting me know it would be about 45 more minutes... WHEW... so i hurried over and parked outside the barracks... and waited patiently. well i hadnt been there 5 minutes when someone knocks on my trunk and then pops up at my window. and yes pops up he was squatting with his face about the same height as mine..

i've since told Riley that if he ever does that again... he will have to deep clean my car.. cause it scared the CRAP out of me. he just came out to let me know he was cleaning and was trying to hurry. anyway so we finally got him, got him checked out and free for the weekend. and we got the heck of the base... and had our typical friday night conversation. Saturday we didn't do much. we saw a movie... did his shopping.. and walked along the beach right before sunset. we left about 20 minutes before sunset because it was SO cloudy that the sunset would not have even been cool... just gray. OH OH OH we did see Dolphins at the beach. that was cool. after the beach Rye decided to satisfy my craving... he took me out for steak.... YUMMMM-O

Sunday morning we were going to go take some beach sunrise pictures... but when i got up i found that there was more fog than i had ever seen. Riley did convince me that i could get some cool foggy pictures.. see this is one of the many reasons i LOVE this man! he's always trying to fuel my interests. so here you go friends here are some of my results.

there were a few more but i'll just keep those for a later day. then we were just kind of walking around and Rye found me a HUGE piece of beach glass which i used as a stick... see

so then i took a few of Riley and his reflection in the wet sand.

and then my AMAZING husband professed his love for me... on a big scale. right before we called it and headed back to the hotel.

so now i'm back in St George.. just counting down till i go back to the love of my life... and in case you were curious i MAY find out where we'll be stationed next weekend.... KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED!!!!

here i go again, on my own!

Alright friends, and random cyberspace stalkers :)

i'm sitting in my in-laws living room, the only place that feels like home at this point. all by myself. my inlaws are in vegas for the week, so i've had the run of the house. it's really nice to be able to sit in silence and not have to worry about conversations i should be trying to have with anyone in my company. nor do i have to fake that i'm happy when i am NOT. however... when not required to fake that i'm happy... i'm happier. what a strange world this is!

so this week is DRAGGING on... but tomorrow i'll hop in the car, and drive all the way down to oceanside Ca yet again! and i'll kill time till i get a text. it always puts a HUGE smile on my face to see "Rye" when i get a new text. maybe it's going all week with nothing on my phone to even show that we have a relationship... or knowing that i'm the ONLY person he wants to talk to when he gets his first few minutes of freedom. so about 4-7 pm i'll get a text. yes friends you read right. i could get a text as early as 4pm telling me he's ready, so i have to be on base by 4pm just in case. BUT on the other hand, i may not get a text till 9pm, it's a cruel game i play :)
so once i pick up my husband and sign him out for the weekend, we'll have the same conversation we have EVERY weekend.
"Rye, I need gas."
"c'mon drive faster get me OFF this base."
"well i'm not going to speed while on a military base. did you hear me? i need gas"
"i don't care, just get me off the base, i'm sick of this place"
"ok, well the cheapest gas is ON base, so we'll fill up on our way out."
"Sav, i NEED FOOD!"
"ok hon, after we get gas we'll get ya something"
10 minutes later, off the base on the I-5 southbound, still 15 minutes from a city
"SAV..... FOOOOOOOD"
"Riley, if you were that desperate for food, i could have stopped somewhere ON base. but NOOO you were in a hurry to get off base. you'll have to wait till we hit oceanside. it's only 10 minutes up here."
2 minutes later
"Sav, i'm freaking starving! is there a reason you have not stopped anywhere so i can get food"
"well, Rye. as i tell you every weekend. the part of the base i pick you up at is on one side of the base, the quickest way to food is to go farther onto the base. which you throw a tantrum about. so i get you off base as soon as i can. the problem with that being, it's 15-20 minutes till we hit any civilization... so sit back a shut the crap up. WHEN i see somewhere to get food, i'll stop... i promise!!!"
.............
"why didn't you pull over at that exit?"
"there is nothing off that exit."
"Sav... i SAW the denny's right there!"
"Riley Gardiner you HATE denny's"
"i know"
7 minutes later
"Sav where the heck are you going?"
"did you forget that you're hungry?!?!?!"
"oh ya.is there food over here"
"there was last weekend, so i have a feeling there should still be SOMEWHERE to get food here"

except THIS weekend will be slightly different. we're meeting my cousin Emma in Carlsbad for dinner after i pick him up. so there will be a bit more whining. he won't want to wait that long for food. and "SAV"(in the whiniest voice you can imagine) "i've never even MET your cousin!" in which i'll reply. "and you'll LOVE her." he'll probably complain a bit more. point to his stomach every 45 seconds and yell (very loudly i might add) "HUUUUUUUNGRY!!!"  to which i'll turn my music UP and sing along. he'll give up shortly after this happens, put his hand on my thigh, and squeeze. he'll look at me while i'm driving like he didn't remember how much he actually could love me. and awkwardly lay his head on my shoulder.

Look at me go! i am blogging accurately about a weekend that has not even happened yet! i'm ahead of the game :) I am really excited this week to see him. i hung out with my AWESOME sister in law all week. and while i absolutely adore her, she looks an awful lot like her little brother... and it's a constant reminder that he's not around. whereas normally i can pretend i don't think about the situation and enjoy my week. i really did enjoy my week though. hanging out with Michelle and my nephews Jaxon and Boden... i'm just glad tomorrow is friday!

i haven't blogged this yet. i did put this on facebook. but just in case any of ya care... Riley got his job assignment. as you should all know by now, he is Infantry... but within that category there are several jobs. my husband i must say, has the COOLEST one! well Recon is pretty cool too... just not for a married guy... just my opinion. ANYWAY Riley is an 0351... DEMOLITIONS. yea.. he's pretty much living every 10 yr old boys fantasy. he's learning the proper way to blow things up. how to blow circular holes in concrete and so forth. and instead of an m16(the typical rifle) Rye will have... are you ready for this?

a ROCKET LAUNCHER! yup.. thats pretty Bad-A if you as me! and he's pretty excited. you can see his face light up like an 8 yr old whenever i bring it up. he's doing REALLY well at SOI-ITB is one of the high test scorers... yes we are talking about the SAME Riley Gardiner... and he's one of the best hikers. he passes everyone as they are heaving and barely able to breath.. and he skips to and fro singing and making jokes. thats my boy :)

I'm really proud of my husband. have i said that recently. after 3 years and 8 months of being married, i could not imagine my life without him. i was talking to his sister this week. and realized as of june 3rd at about midnight. i will have started going steady with Rye 6 years ago. and our first date was 7 years ago this next fall... WOW... can i just say, i am the HAPPIEST AND LUCKIEST 22 year old girl EVER! ok i'll quit gushing. i'll update on monday or so and let ya know exactly how accurate my predictions were :)

I Run To You!

The Saga continues!

I am still driving back and forth to see my Marine on the weekends. the last 2 weeks i actually spent at my dad's and grandpa's house, it was nice. i got to hang out with my dad and awesome stepmom. spend sometime with the COOLEST grandparents in the world... surf, and have a MUCH shorter drive to get to my Grunt!

Easter weekend was nice! i had surfing that morning, so right after i checked into our hotel so it was like 1 pm. ran upstairs and got cleaned up! i smelt of ocean and wetsuit (for those of you unfamiliar with that stench, not really one you want to smell like when you greet your spouse whom you never see :)  i got out of the shower and just fell over on the bed in just my towel for just a minute to relax for a few. surfing kicked the crap out of me! so i'm laying there, hair wet, just a towel on. and i get a text. i figured it was probably Ali (my awesome little sister) but NOOOO it was that Marine of mine. text read like so

"I can't reply back to this. but we should be getting off work early, so you should get here pretty soon"

i don't talk to him during the week at all. so he didn't know i was already in oceanside. so i hopped up. through on my beach dress since my clothes were pretty much all still in the trunk, put my hair in a ponytail and ran out the door. i showed up at the barracks about an hour later... man i hate traffic! Rye saw me out the window, smiled and said it would just be a few minutes. a few minutes later he came down to get me.
because he's married i have to check him out on fridays so we don't have to have a tag-a-long. i got out of the car. he looked me over and asked if i had any other clothes. i had forgotten i was just wearing my beach dress... and it shows WAY too much cleavage for anything other than the beach. and when i go to check him out, all the other marines are shamelessly vocal about what they think. it's good for my self esteem. but inappropriate non-the-less. that and as Rye says "you're mine Sav, i don't care that they look at you but i do care what they think about you" so i needed to look a bit less like a dime store hooker. but i had brought my clothes up to our hotel room. luckily i had my white leather jacket, i put that on and it looked adorable!

we headed back to the hotel... and Rye found out that the Easter bunny had visited him :)

ya, i'm turning into a little Sav Homemaker... except that i don't have a home :) 

anyway so we hung out friday night. saturday mornng Rye joined me for my surf lessons, and had a blast taking pictures. he was glad he was able to watch me enjoy a sport! here's a few of the highlights.\

that was day 3 or 4 of my surf camp. i'm now riding the big waves... so don't judge me. :)
saturday night we went out to a nice dinner. and got cold stone.

Sunday we went and saw "clash of the titans" at like 10 am. afterwards we wanted to do some shopping... but everything was closed it being easter and all. we went down the the beach, and walked around for a bit. then went back to the hotel. we ended up renting Avatar on our hotel TV. about 20 minutes into the movie, the earthquake hit. it was pretty funny. Rye had never been in an earthquake and it was definitely something completely new to him. that night we found a way cool restaurant ON the beach. it was nice because it was a holiday weekend. he got ANOTHER day with me. so i didn't have to take him back to work till monday at 6pm.

and thats the easter weekend update. i'll update more a bit later. he got his job assignment and everything, so i'll update later today. but i have an appointment at a salon in like 40 minutes, so i gots to get goin.

CALIFORNIA, knows how to party!

I get to see my Marine tomorrow... and i am STOKED!!! last weekend he wasn't able to do ANYTHING... so i am praying that this weekend will go off without a hitch. i've been in Cali all week just counting down the days and hours till friday evening. but heres the sad news. Rye's parents we supposed to come for easter and spend the weekend with us. HOWEVER. i got a call for my dear ol' dad-in-law that a sewer line broke outside their house yesterday, so they will not be able to join us for the holiday weekend.

and my surf lessons were postponed due to inclimate weather until the weekend. so i am going to DRAG Riley to the beach for a few hours each day so i can get my money's worth of surfing. i know he'll be fine with it. he'll probably go for a run on the beach. and then i'm going to give him the camera so that i can have some pictures of me surfing. man i LOVE Riley Robert Gardiner!

anyway, this is a really short post, but i'll update later :)

OWWWWW

So Yesterday (Monday) i started my surf camp... i showed up to the beach at 8:45 ready to go! we get briefed, and then head down to the beach. we practice popping up for about 30 minutes. and then the instructors both seem a little worried about the tide and the size of the waves. so around 9:45 they decide we can try to brave it and go out. so i'm heading out with Bob (the main instructor) and we're paddling along.. and there were alot of 3 and 4 foot waves... WAY TO BIG for a beginer. a 4 footer came along, spun me around and luckily i was holding on for dear life, i rode the wave on my belly... before it decide to rip me from my board and thrash me about... AND THAT my friends was my very first surfing expierience. it was TERRIFYING. after that i caught one.. maybe two baby waves... didn't get up very well but thats besides the point. we headed in for a breather... and i could not catch my breath! that one wave had tried to murder me. Bob thought it was AWESOME i guess he was talking to me telling me to paddle over the next one coming... and he turned around to make sure i heard. and i was GONE.

so on the beach they were saying the tide needed to go out a bit more. we waited on the beach for about an hour. tried to go out again. but this time i went out with Matt (another instructor) he was SUPER cool. and i caught a bunch of much more acceptable size waves. went back in, he watched my pop up and tried to show me what i was supposed to do, and what i was doing on the beach. vs what i was ACTUALLY doing in the water. a few more girls showed up and we made the short trek to another part of the beach where there were not very many monster waves... just little baby ones... JUST THE WAY I WANTED IT! so me and the 4 other girls headed out with the 3 instructors. and they took turns pushing is into the wave to catch it. they didn't want us paddling too much so we wouldn't be too sore for the rest of the week... HA. anyway.. i caught a bunch but couldn't get the right balance, and then i went through a stage when i was nervous to let go of the board. so i'd be squatting... and hanging on! but by the end 1:30 pm i had an AMAZING run. i stood up perfectly carved a teensy bit(on accident) and road the wave in. Matt was behind me and had pushed me in, Bob was on the beach and was watching the whole thing and was IMPRESSED! and then Rusty came in (Bob's son and the third instructor) and told me how awesome that one was. and that was my awesome start to Surf Camp.

I woke up this morning... and i cant move. my triceps are about to burst... that muscle that is like under your armpits and side-boob... that one i think might hurt the worst. my back is SORE and my Abs and core muscles are in much pain. and somehow... i have to get up get moving and drive back to the beach to continue with my lessons... i'm pretty stoke with surfing... the sun can go suck a lemon. cause it killed my face. but i learned my lesson with that the hard way. i would bring my camera and take pictures... but i'm doing this solo and have noone to come take pictures. so if anyone in the san diego county area wants to come and take pictures... i'd love you forever!

Oceanside CA! I love my life

sooo. i've had time to play with my camera with all the time i've spent in California. it's actually really fun! anyway my newest thing i LOVE taking pictures of... Beaches... usually at sunrise or sunset.... so here are a few pictures.. i LOVE the beach!!!

Amazing Weekend!!!!!

So as most of you know i have decided to dedicate my life to being on the road while Riley is still in training. so this last weekend... well from Friday until Monday, i have now logged almost 2000 miles of ME driving... wow! so i  have spent more than a few hours on the road! i am now sitting at my in-laws house in St George... and for the first time in almost 5 months. i feel like i'm home.. i know that probably sounds crazy. but i mean, i stayed at my mom's house on a futon in there guest room, and everyone was more than a little anxious to get me out of there so they could return it to being the game room. and then i was at Zack's parents house. and they were AMAZING! but i was still staying in a room that was sarah's even though she's moved out. and they weren't mine or Riley's blood family, so i still felt like an intruder. then for the last 4 weeks i've been in hotel rooms, condo's and here and there for a night or two at a time. I am homeless.. AND IT FREAKIN SUCKS!!!

I am so ready for Riley to be done with training so i can actually settle in somewhere. if i knew for sure that we would be stationed at camp pendleton, i would move out there in a heartbeat. it would be alot easier than driving 6 or 7 hours each way to spend 45 hours with my soul mate. the love of my life! every time i'm with him, he reminds me EXACTLY why i fell in love with him in the first place. He is the most amazingly awesome person i've ever met!

friday night... I got to Camp Pendleton about 6:30 pm... i was expecting him to get liberty around 6, but Kat had taken my GPS so she could get to the base, so i had printed directions TAPED to my steering wheel. so it took me a bit longer than expected to get there. anyway, so my new friend Kaitlyn was also there waiting for Bravo Company platoon 2 to be released for weekend liberty. so i hopped in her car, and we killed time.. which consisted of driving up to there barracks a few times and spying! it was exciting, and nerve racking!

then around 8-ish we started seeing more boys in the barracks running around and popping out of windows to try and get cell signal to make their first texts of the weekend. we were sitting in Kaitlyns VW bug, and all of a sudden i saw him! i couldn't see his face. but i could tell from the way he was standing and was holding his cell. anyway so he called but our signal was terrible. i got out of the car and just stood there. and he saw me :) it was pitch black but he was like "SAV?! IS THAT YOU DOWN THERE?!" so he ran down and had me meet him by the stairs. and he's never run so fast to me in his life! gave me the HUGEST hug and had a massive grin! so of course first thing out of my mouth was "wow babe, you had a REALLY bad week didn't you?!"

anyway so we drove to san diego, got some in-n-out, and checked into the hampton inn.

Saturday!
we started the weekend off early. we were up by 4:30. got up, i threw my new hollister sweats on, with a tank and a zip up. Riley put his running shorts, and running shoes on.. and a shirt. and we hopped in the car. the goal was to find a beach with a pier and a boardwalk that Riley could run on. well... my GPS sucks at life, and could not find us a beach the life of it! we ended up at plenty of coasts but they were all on cliffs... WHAT THE CRAP! so FINALLY after rye wanted to stop at a donut shop on the coast we decided to ask the guy in there where a good beach would be. well bless his little heart, the little asian man did not speak a word of english except for donut terms... WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?! anyway a guy in there gave us directions. and we found our way... RIGHT as it started getting light. i brought my camera and we had some fun. p.s. none of these have been edited yet in any way..... so ya!

\

so after that, we went back to the hotel, Riley went to the little gym, he came back and showered while i hurried and got ready. then we headed to sea world, being a Military Family (wow that still feels weird to say!) we got in for free. we didn't want to spend too long there because we still wanted alot of time left in the day to spend together. so we saw shamu, Riley got me a pearl, i got to pick the oyster and everything! i held a starfish... ok that's a lie, but i touched it! and we went to a few aquariums.

after sea world, we found a MUCH closer beach, and walked on the beach for about an hour. then on our way back up to the car we ran into a group of Riley's Marine buddies so we chatted with them for a bit, then headed back to the hotel to change for the evening. we were planning on doing dinner and a movie. but with it being a little later than we were hoping, we ended up going to chick-fil-a for dinner NEVER A BAD OPTION! then we went and saw "the bounty hunter" i REALLY liked it. Riley like it but didn't love it. probably cause we were both sooooo sleepy we were falling asleep towards the end. we went back to the hotel and pretty much passed out!

Sunday- got up, got breakfast, got Riley a haircut, then had to start driving BACK to Camp Pendleton. once we got back we were able to sit on the grass and have a mini picnic. Riley had a REALLY hard time saying goodbye this week. which made it sooo much harder for me i'm not going to say much about it, cause i am getting all teary eyed just thinking about it.

well i will quit writing, since i'm sure noone is STILL reading, since i just keep typing. but ya. it was an AMAZING weekend. and i'm going to bed now!

OH YA....... Cold Sores SUCK!!!!!

OK i give in!!!

Alright everybody... you asked for it!!!

When Riley left for bootcamp on december 1st, i went into Zombie mode. as anyone that saw me the first 2 weeks he was gone knows. but about 2 weeks in i decided to do good on my promise to myself.
I decided a few months prior that while Riley was away, bettering himself... for US.. i would do the same. obviously in a bit of a different way. my Friend Kat had lost about 35 lbs in about 5 months... so i talked to her and found out how she did it. She told me she went to ABsolute weight loss in Orem. so i called the next day and made an appointment. on your first consultation they take your blood pressure, and test for your body composition. they tell you how much fat you have, how much water weight you have, how much muscle weight... and so on. and then you talk to the dr on staff and figure out which plan you want to do.

I did the Traditional plan. so i went in once a week for my weekly weigh in, and got a B12 shot. all the B12 shot does is give you energy. seriously it works! then i talked to a nutritionist who sat and taught me what proportion of protein to carbs i need to have. taught me a bunch of other stuff. and then i also take an appetite suppressant. and thats it. i've basically taught myself how to eat smaller portions. and GENERALLY pick better things to eat. they know everyone is going to cheat every once in a while. but they teach you that when you cheat... it doesnt' mean to throw all your hard work out the door. if you want chocolate cake... eat the chocolate cake... just don't eat the whole thing. eat like HALF a slice. anyway it worked! i still have a little bit to go, and i'm working on it. but since my husband is in California, and i'm going back and forth every weekend to see him, i can't exactly go into a center in orem weekly for my shot. but i am STILL losing weight. and i am hoping by summer i'll be as small as i want to be. anyway i'm done ranting. and the only reason i posted this is because i have had A BILLION texts and facebooks asking me about it. so here is a before and after picture for me and Kat. she looks AMAZING... and soon... i will too!

the girl far left is Kristy, she's an absolute doll! and is from SLC! anyway.. i'm done now!

LOVE YOU ALL!

soooo i'm gonna be a little Vain here!

I'M HOT NOW!!! ok i think i'm done. lemme explain myself a little here, so you don't think i'm self absorbed! i've now lost about 30 lbs since december. and i'm starting to notice. i'm in st george right now. and me and Kat decided to go lay out by the pool since it's 70-something outside right now. but we're also doing massive amounts of laundry. and as fate would have it. my tankini is in the wash. so i was forced to wear my bikini. keep in mind, i haven't worn this since the summer before i was married... almost 4 years ago. and i was not completely self conscious. i still have a bit to go. but i am happy with myself... FINALLY!!!

i've always had self esteem issues. i mean c'mon... my best friend has been Lauren for like the past 10 years. and she is GORGEOUS!

but i think the fact that i spend every weekend on base with Riley now may have something to do with it. boys look at me there. but because i'm Sav and not some other girls i don't dress like i'm advertising. so i don't quite get them to drool over me... but Riley has had more than a few guys asking hopefully that we were not together. BACK OFF BOYS! my heart belongs to one and only one Marine! it's really funny when i'm not with Rye and i'm walking... or running somewhere... i've never seen so many heads turn and crane to look at me...

ONCE AGAIN I DON'T THINK I'M THAT HOT. because any of you that know a Marine.... most of them are not picky at all... i had one kid i was talking to tell me he didn't care how obese and hairy she was, he just needed to find ANY girl willing... and i replied with "DUDE, you've been here for 4 days!!!!! you're that desperate already?!" Riley laughed at me, because i'm always the one to say exactly whats on my mind. but it just proves my point. these boys have WAY too much testosterone built up... they will pretty much drool over anything that has an F on their drivers license... even if all the surgeries haven't been completed. and with that visual.. i'll leave you.