Brothers

Growing up in Washington i had one of the biggest families in the school. i remember when i was in either 1st or 2nd grade(it was a split class so i had the same class for 2 years) my sister Ali was born. and they had a mock "baby shower" for my mom, my class brought some presents and cake and stuff... it was so sweet of them, and growing up i realize that it's not a normal thing for a class to do.. ANYWAY, some of the kids made some jokes about how it was the 5th kid to be born into our family.. and that was when it hit me.. i had a big family.

AND THEN, when i was 12 and my parents got divorced. My mom moved us 5 kids to Utah so that she could go back to school at BYU. and lets just say, one of the first weeks of my 6th grade class we were talking about brothers and sisters and the teacher asked who had a big family. and they were trying to figure out who had the biggest family. and i stupidly raised my hand to be put into the contest.... i had one of the smallest families in the class. In Utah it's not unusual for a family to have 7-12 kids as an average.

I was born Savannah Lee Brown, second oldest of 5 kids. i have an older sister Brittany. 2 younger brothers Paul, then Phil. and last i have my little sister Ali. but growing up i was always sad that i didn't have an older brother. don't get me wrong i LOVE AND ADORE both Paul and Phil

however, i always wanted that protectiveness, something that younger brothers don't quite provide in the way a big brother does.

In high school i was in a performing group "Acting Up" lot's of kids my own age from all over the county. and it was amazing how i could become so insanely close with all of those AMAZING people. i became really close with Ben Knell, we'd chat on the phone for hours, i'd go hang out at his house, surprise him for his birthday and such by TOTALLY cleaning his room. yes i was CONVINCED that i was completely in love with him, and we were meant to be together... but he did a very good job of convincing me that it wasn't going to happen, and i was just "his best girl-friend" he was head over heels for Lauren, and more than once i tried to convince Lauren why she should like him.. lets face it, if i couldn't have him, i wanted him to be HAPPY, cause he was one of my best friends. i gave up on trying to make him like me and just embraced the fact that we were so close. he was even my date to the sweethearts dance which landed on my 16th birthday. Ben became the closest thing to a "big brother"  i'd ever had. he was protective over who i dated, and was furious when i had my heart broken.

Then i met and fell in love with Riley, and sorta drifted fron Benji. i soon had a serious boyfriend, and then a husband. but was once again missing that "brotherly" thing.

When Riley left for BootCamp and i moved back up to Utah County, i felt instantly like i was going to be well taken care of, everyone knew what was going on in my life and was genuinely supportive and worried about me. i attended multiple "missionary nights" where a big group of us would get together and talk religion, ask any questions we had, bear our testimonies and learn ALOT. I went to alot of the Acting Up functions, trying to pay it forward to the younger generation. during Riley's time at bootcamp i had a big bunch of "big brothers" who were ready there for me if i needed advice, or had religious questions, or just needed to cry for hours.

J
AJ
Ben Wille
Nick
and Lauren's husband Dal

Then Riley moved onto San Diego, and i was on the road back and forth to and from every weekend. Zack moved on to his training in Florida, and Kat went with him, Lauren was back up in provo. so 5 out of 7 days a week, i was completely alone.

and now here we are in sunny Hawaii... Riley, I, and a whole ton of Marines. It's no secret that i've always been one of the guys, i've always been "the friend" not the girl that anyone ever wanted to date. i wasn't the pretty one, or the "it" girl, i was the funny girl, the one who gives great advice, the one who was willing to try and help you out, so that even though i may be crazy about you, i'll try to hook you up with my best friend.

So moving into a lifestyle where being friends with guys isn't an option, i was a little worried... cause i DON'T LIKE GIRLS!!! they are drama filled, and mean, and back stabbing, and whiney, and immature.... i've only had a few really close girlfriends. but other than that... i have always been careful about hangin out TOO much with girls... cause it's exhausting.

The first few weeks we were here, we'd take a few of the guys to honolulu with us. and go out for movies and such with them. so after we moved into our house, i threw one of them a birthday party. Grass, Martinez, and Deleon were Riley's first friends on the island. and soon, Grass was over at our house every weekend, and alot of times during the week. they left for a training, and when they came back, Riley wanted some just "Sav" time. so we distanced ourselves from hanging out EVERY weekend. After they got back from a month in Cali in sept, Riley had made alot of friends at this point. and i would invite them over, or we'd go out to a movie or dinner. and i started getting to know these boys, where they are from, past/present girlfriends. i gave LOTS of advice on lots of different things to them all. one in particular kind of became Riley's "best friend"... and he even eloped right before deployment(shout out to Willis!)  and when we had our big thanksgiving dinner, it was just like a big family dinner. it was SOOO much fun!!! and it felt like we were finally starting to fit in where we were supposed to.

The night Riley left, you all know i was inconsolable. i was sending my husband, my very best friend off. what i don't think i realized was that i was sending off a big huge group of my "brothers". alot of them throughout the day came up and gave me hugs and told me they would take care of Rye and we would all hang out in 7 months. when Willis came up right before they got on the buses and gave me one last hug, it was about all i could take, i have alot invested in this group of Marines. i wasn't expecting that.

Riley hasn't had internet/phone access in a couple days, but last night Brad (one of the guys in Riley's fire team) logged on to facebook, and we were able to chat for like 20 min. and he is one of those guys i talked about in my last post... the ones who don't value themselves enough. he even said that he will MAKE sure that if anything happens to any of them, it would be him, not any of his brothers. I told him that i have pretty good intuition, and i just have a feeling like everything is going to be ok. and told him it was probably just me being a religious nut but that nothing was going to happen to any of them, because they all needed to come home safe to me, because i'm a strong girl... but i'm not strong enough to have to deal with that if anything happened to any of them. i told him they were like my little brothers, and i felt protective over them. we then got in an argument, that even though i'm OOLD he says THEY are the big brothers. and if any of these crazy wives or single marines try to mess with me, they'll be a whole bunch of em with (and i think he said this exactly) Cement, and bats. and then it hit me... i have more big brothers than i can even count. ya, in high school my guy friends were protective, but i have NO doubt that if anyone tried to mess with me, that these boys would not be opposed to violence.

He said "Riley is my brother, i love him like a brother because that's what he is to me. and Sav, that makes you my sister-in-law". but it made me realize... if i consider these boys like family to me... imagine how RYE feels... he is closer to them than ANYONE he was friends with in high school.. other than Zack. i don't think i fully grasped how Riley has a "band of brothers" ok that was super cheesy.. but you know what i mean. i always thought the one thing Riley couldn't ever do for me was give me the big brother i'd always wanted. but, he's given me about 20 of em. they may be his brothers first. but i know that if i ever needed anything they'd be there.

now some of you may take this post the wrong way... and think that it is inappropriate to be friends with guys once you're married.... to you i say, have some faith in your relationship. These boys all know how HEAD OVER HEELS in love with Riley i am... i probably tell them way too often. i've always been soo careful to never give off even the hint of the wrong signals. like i said, i've always been "one of the guys" i have a feeling it's part of why Riley fell in love with me. i'm not affraid to fight back when they say something mean, and usually i'll say something that will shut them right up and put them back in their place... i'm feisty. And when they DO pick on me, and yes.. they pick on me alot! Riley doesn't ever step in, cause he knows that i can handle myself. i don't ever pull the "Rye their being mean to me!" card... i just put them in their place.

so for those of you NOT in the military lifestyle, you probably won't understand completely. but i just wanted to give you a little more insight on WHY i posted my last post. i got alot of crap from people about it. saying that i should WANT every single one of these guys to step in front of a bullet so my husband can come home. but it doesn't work like that. These aren't just some other Marines... i think when you see stories on the news about someone giving up his life for the lives of 8 others, you don't quite see the back story to that. and maybe i'm not like most other Marine wives, maybe it's the "Utah" in me that forms such close bonds with people that i consider them family. Every lost life on the news has a story, he is mourned by his brothers, possibly their families and wives. "The worth of souls is great in the sight of God"



OK I SWEAR THIS WILL BE THE LAST DEPRESSING POST FOR A WHILE!!! promise!!!

keep 2/3 in your prayers and thoughts!

Look unto Christ in every thought. Doubt Not! Fear Not!