Come Home

The Nightmares have started...

I remember when Lincoln was deployed and Tiff was on the home front. i would try and either text or call everyday, just to see how she was doing, if she needed to talk to anyone, and just because we were getting closer and i LOVED chatting with her. first of all, that girl is an AMAZING woman, i have no idea how she got through the deployment with soo much grace. she makes us all look bad... and she's so modest she'll totally tell you that the rest of us handle them better. i loved everyday that i got to talk to her, and got to know her better... she's one of the first people i met when i moved to utah, we went to elementary school together. We were friends, just not really close... more of the "AT SCHOOL" friends... which there is nothing wrong with, and i'm not sure why we never hung out more. (probably cause i was too boy crazy for people to want to be around me) i always thought she was one of the nicest people in my grade though, and i can HONESTLY say, i never once said a bad thing about her. and had i tried i don't know what i would have come up with. She married Lincoln 2 years ago now, and they are PERFECT for eachother! really, they are. I've also known Lincoln since 6th grade, he lived a few blocks up the hill from me, and we'd play. i actually broke my arm on his trampoline, and for years he told me i needed to come get the blood stain off his trampoline.. gross! i hung out with him all the way through high school, but he wasn't in my normal group of friends. He's a really great guy, and like i said Tiff is an AMAZING girl... they are perfect for each other.

When Lincoln left for Afghan, that was the first time that someone i really knew was going over there, not just a friends husband. And like i said i would talk to Tiff almost everyday, and that's how i kind of gauged what a deployment would be like for me. So far Riley has been more fortunate to have access to phones and such, and i'm not Naive enough to think that it will continue like that for the entire time. not that i would complain. but Tiff usually got about one phonecall a week. give or take. and she was ecstatic when she got a call, and be sure to text or call me and let me know that he called and give me a little update on how he's doing.

And then there were the days that i would text her, ask how she was holding up... and all i'd get as a reply would be "it was a rough night, but i'm ok" now i had just SURVIVED bootcamp... which i thought was the worst thing in the world. so a "rough night" for me, was when i would bawl uncontrollably for like a few hours, and then not really be able to sleep... She was nice enough not to elaborate for me, i don't think she wanted me to know how hard things really are as a wife getting through a deployment. because the night before last, i had my first nightmare... and it was the realest, saddest, scariest dream i think i've had since i was little. i'm not going to tell you what it was about. but you know how every wife has that ONE thing that scares them on deployments, whether it be transports, post, patrols just a number of different things... this dream was about the one thing that i really honestly don't feel comfortable with, i know what his job is... and i know that it's not going to change because i'm scared of him going out and doing this thing... but that doesn't change my thoughts on it.

so i had my first "rough night" and i'm sure there are many more to come. i survived. it's now been 2 weeks since he left. 14 whole days. i still have not cried since the night he left, i'm holding up. well unless you count the few tears from the st judes commercial, or the little girl on the news that started bawling when she skyped with her mom in afghan... but not anything normal like laying in bed crying. please don't tell me it is flying by... i KNOW that for the rest of you, these last few weeks with the holiday and shopping probably HAVE flown by. however for a wife who's husband is off at war, they have felt like months. i'm glad that we're 2 weeks down now, it means i'm 2 weeks closer to having him home.

So babe, when you read this... Come Home



"Come Home"

[Verse 1]
Hello world
Hope you're listening
Forgive me if I’m young
For speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They’re in the wrong place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying
So i say you’ll..

[Chorus]
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home
Oh

[Verse 2]
I get lost in the beauty
Of everything i see
The world ain’t as half as bad
As they paint it to be
If all the sons
If all the daughters
Stopped to take it in
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
It might start now..Yeahh
Well maybe I’m just dreaming out loud
Until then

[Chorus]
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Oh

[Interlude]
Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here
Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here
So hear this now

[Chorus]
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Come home