Can't Sleep.

so i can't sleep. but not because i'm sad this time... so continue to read because this is not one of my manic depression posts :) I got another letter from Riley today. it was dated dec 17th. which means it was sent on the 18th... so it only took like 3 mail days to get to me. he finally started to get all the letters i've been sending him. he's grateful i send one everday, he said the letters are really helping. he gets teary eyed every time they call his name for mail... ok seriously i started to choke up when i read that. i mean what kind of world do we live in that in normal life we take day to day communication for granted!!! i will NEVER again take for granted that smallest thing that makes the biggest difference. i mean i'm having a bit of a rough time with him gone.. i can't even imagine what he's going through.. especially to make him so emotional at the thought of me remembering to write him a letter everyday... and if me taking 20 minutes to write him a page or 2 everyday makes his life more bearable, you bet your ass i'm going to continue to do so.

He also said the first thing he wants to do when he gets done... is get pizza... so i guess we know what his special graduation dinner will be... probably a costco pizza :)

He seems to be doing really well... infact his exact words were "don't worr about me here, i am confident that i will do VERY well" he's amazing... have i told you all that lately... I HAVE THE MOST AMAZING HUSBAND IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!! and he is sooo incredibly thoughtful too...

he said he's trying to better himself by going to church. i already knew that. and i'm so proud of him for that as well.

So here i sit, on my actually comfy futon of a bed, Re-reading his letter by just the light of the Christmas lights outside. trying to memorize his every word. and remember his voice and the way the words would sound out of his mouth. i always thought... before the whole military thing. that if Riley had died or something along those lines, that i wouldn't be able to remember his voice... and the way he said things... and so far... i think i'm proving to myself... that i'm better at remembering him than i thought i was. i did find a bunch of videos on my camcorder from this past year. and listening to those... his voice does sound a bit strange to actually hear it.. not that i don't remember it.. it's just weird to hear it out loud.

Riley also wrote that he had to hurry and finish his letter cause he, well heres what he said "i have to go iron my cover now. by the way cover means hat :) yupp i'm still wearing one" anyone of you that actually knows riley... even a little... if you've ever seen him without a hat on.. it's been a very rare thing. the boy has 27 hats for crying out loud... thats another reason i know he's doing well... is that he's writing to me about his new hats to add to his collection.

I LOVE THIS BOY... IT'S OFFICIAL... AFTER 6 1/4 YEARS SINCE OUR FIRST DATE... I'M STILL CRAZY ABOUT HIM.