i give up on life today. :)

sooooo it is 6:47.... and i have officially been up for 2 hours... but before that i was up at least once every hour since the time we laid down, cleaning up Puke....ya, maybe i should re-think the having kids thing haha.... cause a sick puppy is the saddest thing i've ever dealt with... EVER. so here we are.. laying on a bed with no sheets and blankets, because they are in the washing machine, with a puppy passed out on our pillows trying desperately to get at least a little sleep. the poor little guy hasnt eaten in like 3 days. the first 2 days he wouldn't eat during the day and then eat 2 full bowls at night, so i wasn't super worried. but everything he ate yesterday came RIGHT back up... not fun. so i have now fed him two pepto pills since the one last night didn't help. And we'll have to see how things go. oh and he is teething too.... which is where i think this is actually coming from he lost his top canine tooth, and i KNOW that can't feel good cutting the new one. so we'll have to see if things get better soon. gosh he has just had a bad month.

da duhduh daaaaaaaa

alright friends... this is day one of me keeping track of my weight everyday.. so this will just be a quick post.. but here we go..

i am down 9.1% in weight since march
i am down .9% since yesterday :) YAY

ran over a mile tonight, and worked out my arms, and abs..... tomorrow is another day with another workout :) i will attain my goal... it's gonna happen :)

NEW SEASON OF THE BIGGEST LOSER!!!!!

ok... i'm a nerd. :) but apparently millions of others are too if the show keeps coming back! right now, the new season is recording... and me and Rye are going to sit down in like 30 minutes and begin to watch our favorite show.

now for those of you who don't know, Riley's goal in life is to be the next Bob Harper. he idolizes that guy more than almost anyone else on earth. he LOVES watching this show and trying to get new tips. we LOVE to watch it every week. this last season Rye was in training the whole time so i never got to watch it with him. but i kinda got my stepmom addicted to it. and we would text each other if we weren't together about the episode. point being, i am so thankful that i am able to watch it with Riley this season. it's something most people take for granted... NOT THIS GIRL! at least anymore. every little thing we used to do together that i've had to do without him, i appreciate THAT much more.

so tonight i am inspired/disappointed... a few weeks ago i told you i was getting back on track trying to lose weight... i've been eating better (i'll fully admit to you, my avid blog stalkers) that i have cheated... i have had jello and lasagna... BUT i HAVE gone to the gym AT LEAST 5 or 6 nights a week and everytime i go i run at least a mile, usually bike 7 or 8 miles AND then do some weight lifting and abs... so why is it then, that i've gained like 3 lbs... and DON'T go telling me that muscle weighs more than fat... that may be true... but i DON'T think that is where those 3 lbs has come from. i'm really upset that i've been working out so hard and THIS is what i have to show for it. but i am determined to do better even though Riley is home and will be trying to tempt me with mcdonalds and chinese food... he can suck it! i WILL get smaller!!!!!!!!!

alright... so i'm keeping track of my weight and from now on i will give you a percentage of how much i have lost... or NOT lost.. which better not be the case. when i hit my goal weight.. i would appreciate some lovely gift baskets of strawberries and kiwis and such.. ya know what just make it an edible arrangement.. or some flowers.. gift cards will be accepted as well for some new clothes... but seriously... i am SOOO close within reach but it really is SOO hard to lose the rest... Kat did it, so why can't i... i will. i am determined.. which is why i ran 3 miles this morning.... ya, you're impressed :)

my cleverness may have run out.

only because i couldn't think of an awesome blog title post. who knows if anyone ever even gets my references in most of my blog post titles... but it may surprise you that i spend alot of time thinking of a witty title to catch your attention. alright so enough on titles..... and onto the post!

Well Riley called last night :) it had been 6 days since i'd heard from him, so it definitely made me sooo happy. i had a rough week, with getting my feelings hurt, a possible haunting in my apartment, and living off few hours of sleep! he seems to be doing good. He's more ready to come home than you could possibly know. He misses me, and is missing Deezul alot too. he'll be so surprised at home much that chunk has grown! it's crazy to look back and see all that has happened in the last month that he's been gone. well he's not coming home yet, that will have to wait a little longer. i REALLY miss him.

we were talking last night about his upcoming deployment. and ever time we do, i realize more and more we talk about it... and as unready as i think i am, i think i'll be able to get through it. i was raised to be a strong woman. i will most likely regret saying all this... but such is life. i am so so so so so ready for it to be fall 2011 when all of this is OVER, and i can get back to just being married to the most fantastic man on earth. i'm terrified, let me just throw that out there. i'm probably being so optimistic because when i really step back and think about everything i know about his deployment, i wouldn't be able to function... any military wife will completely understand. it's a coping method, but it seems to be an effective one... so i'll keep doing it :)

what else is new... i really miss all my old friends, like alot!!! i'm used to spending all my time with people who don't take your insecurities and make you feel worse about them. i'm really trying to have tougher skin, but lets face it, thats not who i am. i get my feelings hurt, not extremely easily, like i'm not overly sensitive. But c'mon people lets use common sense. when you think about opening your mouth and making a comment... think about how upset you would be if someone said it to you. in the same tone you're about to use. because while i may have pretended it didn't hurt, and you may have gone on with the night like nothing had happened. i went home and cried myself to sleep over what you said to me. the worst part is that i didn't even say anything to deserve the comment... i made a comment on something that had nothing to do with anything, and NO possible way of offending anyone. i already know that i'm not Gorgeous, i've never pretended i was, i go to the gym because i WANT to achieve an ideal of perfection that let's face it, will probably never be attained. i don't sit around and talk about how much i LOVE my body, because i don't. there are times when i hate everything about myself, and i have ALOT of issues that stem from that. things that are NONE of your business and only 3 people will even understand what i'm talking about. my point is, you don't know what happens behind closed doors in a persons life. and making rude comments, can REALLY mess someone up. this life is NOT for putting people down and bringing yourself up, we should be encouraging each other to reach our full potential... which is what i try my hardest to do. i am SO sorry if i've ever made a comment about you, especially something about you that you have no control over. God made us each a whole lot different from each other. so when you insult someone and their ears or toes (no this is NOT what the whole post is about just a random body part i named so i wouldn't be so general!) you are really insulting something that god saw and said "hey, i think i done good on that one!!!" as i was crying myself to sleep over what you said to me, God was probably pretty sad too that you decided that he must have messed up on me.

Wake Me Up When September Ends

While i don't exactly hate September, i was not that excited to see it pop up on my calendar... it is one month closer to d-day (deployment day) and i'll get to spend less than half the month with Riley. which is an improvement from the whole 5 days we got in august. but i am NOT ready to have to say goodbye for 7 months. and i am surely not ready to order my dress for the ball. which i have to order in the next few weeks. but him being at this training has given him lots of "boy bonding" time. which i really am glad for. however, the loneliness is for sure starting to set in. This last month-ish has actually gone by really fast. cause i've been in the groove of the gym and movie night with the girls. it makes me hopeful that the deployment won't drag on as much as i'm fearing. we've been going to the gym everyday, and started doing a cleanse yesterday. it's the cleanse that started my original diet in Dec... so i KNOW that it works. it's really hard... but it's worth it. i want to order that gown and look FANTASTIC in it.

Deezul is doing good. still growing at an alarming rate. i know Rye is going to be so surprised when he sees how big he's gotten. he keeps me busy and on my toes. i'm learning more and more everyday about how crazy these Marine Wives can be. my goodness. it is insane. and such a hassle trying to find some normal girls to associate with. i have a small handful that i am comfortable with. cause man oh man, i will NOT be putting up with the kind of drama these girls attract!!! it is far worse than high school.

being the only Mormon wife i know is still hard. it's just a completely different lifestyle than how the other wives live. i think Riley may be the ONLY husband on base that does not drink/smoke/dip.... saves us money though, so i can't complain! i'm learning more and more about being Mormon. i kinda have to with all the questions we get. and i'm more and more able to hold my own in a religious debate. i've said it before and i'll say it again. when you're in the military life, there is no being Mormon but not being strict about it. you either go full out.. or you don't follow it at all. it is kinda fun to compare with Riley the questions we get. our last conversation we were talking and had actually the pretty much exact same conversation with other people.

bet most of you never thought me and Riley would be the "molly mormon" couple. i sure didn't think that coming from the family i did. we weren't ever strict Mormon's and now i think that it is one of hte most important things in our marriage. it brings ALOT of joy into our life. and i found out for the first time ever, that not everyone believes in eternity when it comes to marriage. i don't know what i would do if i didn't believe that me and Riley would be married for eternity (after we go to the temple i mean)

anyway... sorry about the super churchy-God Fearing post :) it's just been on my mind this past week. :)

love you all, thanks for reading!!!