Awake

alright, are you all ready for me to introduce you to yet another song that you probably don't know until Sav's blog post. this has been kind of fun for me to put up some of my very favorite songs, that are not too widely known.. so i'm curious how many of you actually listened to all the songs i put up BEFORE i put them up here.. as well as how much you actually like the songs that i put up. they are the songs that strike me one day as important. today's will be a first for me... i'm sharing my Slight Josh Groban obsession with you all... you are welcome :) but for the video i'll be putting up the version with him and Idina Menzel doing a Duet. the song is beautiful, and of course sappy enough for a wife getting ready for her husband to deploy.




 and of course. here are the lyrics... which just put the cherry on top :)

Awake-Josh Groban

A beautiful and blinding morning
The world outside begins to breathe
See clouds arriving without warning
I need you here to shelter me

And I know that only time will tell us how
To carry on without each other

So keep me awake to memorize you
Give me more time to feel this way
We can't stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today

If I could make these moments endless
If I could stop the winds of change
If we just keep our eyes wide open
Then everything would stay the same

And I know that only time will tell me how
We'll carry on without each other

So keep me awake for every moment
Give us more time to be this way
We can't stay like this forever
But I can have you next to me today

We'll let tomorrow wait, you're here, right now, with me
All my fears just fall away, when you are all I see

We can't stay like this forever
But I have you here today

And I will remember
Oh I will remember
Remember all the love we shared today 






i don't have too much to post about today... Riley is doing ok in California... we're both ready for him to be home. this is yet another weekend i have to spend without him... semi-depressed about that. but i'll be ok. Meg, Shaunci, and I are continuing our Gossip Girl marathon tonight. and we've still been going to the gym EVERY night... ya thats right... be jealous of all the motivation i have! eh it's not doing much, at least i don't think it is.. i'm refusing to weigh myself for the time being. because if i weigh myself and find that going to the gym every day has done NOTHING for me... i might just give up.. and i don't want to. sooooo within the next week or two i might weigh myself. and maybe i'll let you know how it goes.


oh oh oh, and since today was a Josh Groban post... he DOES have a new c.d. coming out soon here... i don't have a date yet, but i will let you all know as soon as i do. GOSH i love his music! and since he has a new c.d. that means me and my good ol' best friend Lauren will be hitting up his concert!!! WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!


ok, i'll stop typing for your benefit! love you all, please continue to pray for our troops and their families! 


Sav

Fighting Zombies... well just one.

so... whenever Riley is gone I'm usually ok for a little while,  but when he's gone for a long period of time, i kinda zone out into what i call my "Zombie Mode" it's a survival technique i think. but it sucks none the less. i get stuck in the whole "man i didn't do a darn thing today" rut. i will wake up early, take care of Deezul, do some work with my photo's and usually thats it. until like 5-6ish when i go to the gym with the girls, and then we've started a Gossip Girl marathon to catch up on all the episodes before the new season starts in a few weeks. but man oh man, i am REALLY missing that man of mine. goodness goodness goodness.... well we are closing in on when he can be done with this dumb training thingy and come back home.

i know he's homesick, cause our puppy is getting HUGE!!! and he's sad that he's missing how much our little man grows every day :) speaking of the little guy, i had to take him to the Vet yesterday for a check up. and i'm sorry to say that he's sick... and thats not a joke, he really is. he has mange... LAME!!! apparently Shar Pei's are the number 1 dog to get this. they have alot of skin problems which we knew before we got him. this is just the first thing to hit. so i had to hold him in a headlock while the Vet scraped him with a razor blade until he bled, she ran some tests, and he has it... sad day. so he had to get his regular shots PLUS that skin scraping... and now i have to spend like another $200+ on special medicines for his skin. hopefully it all works to help clear up his skin, and that his hair will start to grow back in the few little places it was thinning..

he's now 24.2 lbs. and even though i call him my little fatty, he apparently is perfect size... PSH that doc don't know nothin... he's my little Fatty. and i love him... even if he still gets stuck under the couch. he's really smart too. he had a little toy beaver, and if i said "Deezul GET YOUR BEAVER!" he'd run to his room and dig through his toys and bring out his little beaver... well the beaver is dead now and had to be replaced... by his HEDGEHOG! he's had it about 5 days now. and when i say hedgehog he runs and grabs it. he's so smart. :)

oh and i crashed on my bike this last weekend... i'm pretty bruised and scratched up.. i'm alive :) and i don't think i'm broken... wait scratch that... i think a bone in my heel may possibly be broken/bruised. don't know, and it's not unbearable, i'm still able to run at the gym... so i'll suck it up!

please remember to pray for our troops overseas they are doing an AMAZING thing for us! and sacrificing so much to be there. and as always pray for their wives, it takes a certain kind of woman to stick it out with a Marine/Soldier/Sailor... Semper Fi

love you all, thanks for reading!

Marching On!

ok, so i've kinda gotten back in the kick of song titles for blog post titles. so yes this one IS a song. A song by One Republic actually. I became a One Republic fan right before Riley left for bootcamp. but then when he was gone, i became a HUGE fan! and this song is one of my favorites... ok i can't really say that cause i love every one of their songs! but this morning, this is the one stuck in my head. not the others.



ok, and since i love the lyrics, here THEY are :)

"Marchin On"

For those days we felt like a mistake,
Those times when loves what you hate,
Somehow,
We keep marching on.

For those nights when I couldn't be there,
Ive made it harder to know that you know,
That somehow,
Well keep moving on.

Theres so many wars we fought,
Theres so many things were not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
Were marching on,
(Were marching on)
(Were marching on).

For all of the plans weve made,
There isnt a flag Id wave,
Dont care if we bend,
Id sink us to swim,
Were marching on,
(Were marching on)
(Were marching on).

For those doubts that swirl all around us,
For those lives that tear at the seams,
We know,
Were not what we've seen,

For this dance well move with each other.
There aint no other step than one foot,
Right in front of the other.

Theres so many wars we fought,
Theres so many things were not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

For all of the plans we've made,
There isn't a flag Id wave,
Don't care if we bend,
Id sink us to swim,
We're marching on,
(We're marching on)
(We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right,
We're marching on.

Well have the days we break,
And well have the scars to prove it,
Well have the bonds that we save,
But well have the heart not to lose it.

For all of the times we've stopped,
For all of the things I'm not.

We put one foot in front of the other,
We move like we aint got no other,
We go when we go,
We're marching on.

Theres so many wars we fought,
Theres so many things were not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We're marching on, (We're marching on) (We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, left, right,
Right, right,
Were marching on.

Right, right, right, right left right,
Right, right, right, left, right,
Right, right,
Were marching on.

isn't it such a good song! i love it! and this week it's worked perfectly for my life. Riley has been gone for over 2 weeks now. and it is starting to wear on me. i mean i am totally fine. it's just i'm sick of this CAX training crap and i'm ready to have him back. YES i know that a deployment is much longer... please don't feel the need to remind me of that. ESPECIALLY if you are not a military wife. because for most of you 5 weeks without your spouse is alot longer than you've ever gone! wow, sorry that probably sounded alot harsher than i wanted it to. so i'm sorry. i've just had to deal with stupid people lately, who feel it their duty to remind me of the dangers that come with being a Marine Wife.

Rye has been in the field all week. so last friday he told me i wouldn't get to talk to him until like this sunday or monday. and our Anniversary was this last thursday. so i had accepted the fact that i wouldn't get to talk to him. the morning before he left for the field so saturday, he got on someones iphone and left me a "happy anniversary" message on my facebook. which made me smile! so Thursday came and i didn't see the point in crying because he wasn't there. because it wouldn't help the situation at all. Shaunci and Megan decided i shouldn't stay home, so we went to the gym, made dinner and watched a movie. Right before i was leaving for that little get together my phone rang with a text. and it was "Grass" one of rye's Marine buddies.

"Hey babe happy anniversary. i love you soo much!"
ummm i was on cloud NINE!!! so we only got about 4 texts in each before he had to go. but it was so amazingly sweet of him. i KNOW he had to pull alot of strings to get someones phone that had signal, AND when Marines are out in the field they usually lose track of what day of the week it is. he really does make me so happy. and what an awesome way to start out year number 5.


So while life may be trying to wear me down, and break me.
we'll keep marching on.

I'm Yours

this last fall i fell in love with a new-ish band "The Script" they are Irish, and amazing! and usually when i find a new band, i listen to JUST them for a few weeks, learn all the songs so that forever on i can sing along. so about a week or so into listening to them, i had only listened to one of the songs like twice cause it was really slow so i assumed it was a downer of a song. and then i was in the car driving with Rye one night, and he found that song. and told me it put perfectly into words how he felt about me. and he played this song. and i bawled. sometimes i don't realize how sensitive Riley really is. i mean i know he is a softy... but sometimes he still surprises me.



here are the lyrics

You touch these tired eyes of mine
And map my face out line by line
And somehow growing old feels fine
I listen close for I'm not smart
You wrap you thoughts in works of art
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
And never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

You heeled these scars over time
Embraced my soul
You loved my mind
You're the only angel in my life
The day news came my best friend died
My knees went week and you saw me cry
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
And never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
I know I don't fit in that much
But I'm yours


When Riley was at bootcamp i couldn't listen to that song without bawling... and here i am less than an hour till our anniversary starts, and my ipod decides it's going to play that song. and of course i start to cry... AS ALWAYS.  it's become one of my most favorite songs. especially cause i can hear Riley's voice quietly singing it to me while snuggling in bed.

4 years ago i became Mrs. Gardiner. and it was the best decision i ever made. and by far the easiest. no where in the world is there a more caring, loving, amazing, funny, and sometimes just disgusting guy. but i sure as heck do love him alot. i can't believe it's been almost 7 years since we first met. boy how our lives have changed.

2010 has turned out NOTHING like what we were hoping for... if you remember while he was at bootcamp i posted how 2010 was going to be the best year ever... and here we are 8 months into it.... and it's just about to get harder from here. it has been the most heartbreaking yet rewarding year. every time we are forced to be apart, it means there is an amazing reunion at the end :) and as the amazing Tiffany knows.... Reunions almost make it worth it. so while this is yet another thing he's missed in 2010 i think he's only not missed the 4th of july and easter. we have LOTS more years to go. if we live to be 100 well and him a year older. we will have been married for 82 years..... thats craaaazy!!!

if year 5 is half as good as year 4 was... we're in for one heck of a ride. i've been so fortunate to be able to spend so many days with my amazing husband. i know alot of other wives are not so fortunate, when we are together in every prayer we make sure to thank God for all the time we spend together. someone thought this odd since i had only seen him for 2 hours in 2 days at the time. i had to explain to them that i go days and weeks without contact with him. 2 hours is a blessing. and one i am not about to take for granted.

soooo Blogging friends... thank you once again for sticking around. i know it's been a mushy post, but c'mon i'm allowed to do that on my anniversary. especially when i have to spend it alone. maybe i'll go pick myself up some flowers for the house.... probably not. cause i'm still grounded from flowers :)

i can explain

so i haven't blogged much recently. but i don't like blogging when i am having a rough time with him being gone for a few reasons
1. i don't want you all to think i'm suicidal.
2. i've been trying to keep really busy so i don't think about the fact that i'm alone
3. i usually wind up blogging about how lonely i am and what an awesome  couple we are, and i don't want to make you all hurl your guts from the mushy-ness :)

there are probably a few other reasons but those are just off the top of my head... BUUUT i have officially tied with Candace Anderson for number of blog posts  Candace's Blog ..........WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO... alot of you may or may not know Candace(Candy) but when i first started my blog back in 2008 i would read hers religiously, we've been pretty good friends since middle school, with of course an off and on again relationship (typical of girls) but i NEVER thought i would reach her amount of blogging... cause she was an avid blogger. but it was always a goal of mine. an unattainable goal. until sadly she went through some rough times in her life and wasn't in the mood to blog (thats just my theory, who knows the real reason... but i really think thats it)... i was really sad cause i LOVED reading her blog. the only good thing about this was that when Rye left for bootcamp i started going into super blogging mode to keep his and my families up to date on what was happening in our life. so a few weeks ago i realized she was less the 10 posts ahead of me... and TODAY FOLKS... WE HAVE TIED 74 posts... thats not too many... but for someone who a year ago was barely blogging.. thats pretty dang good! and i am STOKED about this. so i will have to post another one really soon so i can pass her.. she probably didn't even know i was competing with her.. but now that she will know, i'll have to keep posting alot so i don't lose the lead. hahaha wow the things i do these days to entertain me huh?!

well Deezul will be 4 months old next sunday... man how time flies. right now he's running laps like a puppy on crack! sometimes i wonder if cats get catnip (their drug of choice) why don't we have any stimulants for puppies... then i remember... THEY ARE CRAZY WITHOUT IT!!! i think if he had puppy-nip i would probably shoot myself or him.. cause i can barely contain him now! but he amazes me what a good and sweet dog he is. earlier he wanted to come inside SOOO badly but the terminex guy was here so i had to keep him inside. when i finally got to let him back in. he ran straight to his room to eat. i heard him take one bite and then he ran back out to me and gave me a ton of kisses like "THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME IN!!!!" and then he went back to eat. and this morning he woke up gagging (probably from eating the fluff from inside his squeeky beaver toy. and he hopped off the bed to throw up... that is kinda gross but imagine if he did it on the bed instead of the hard floor. i was soo grateful! he keeps me so busy while Rye is gone, and reminds me daily of how much i have to be thankful for. he loves going on walks, but doesnt like how if he runs ahead he gets choked, so he puts his end of the leash in his mouth so if it pulls it just pulls his face... NOT his neck.. i'll have to get a picture of this. it looks like he's trying to walk himself. and makes me laugh. and usually on our walks he'll stop randomly and look up and realize that I'M THERE! and then he'll want to hop up and give me kisses and thank me for taking him out. i'm finally in love with Deezul. he's no longer the puppy that cost us $600... he's my baby boy.

enough about my puppy since y'all are probably super bored of hearing about him! i'm still hanging out with Megan and Shaunci alot. Shaunci had her friend Julia in town so we've been having all sorts of adventures. we went snorkeling and saw a blow fish AANND an Octopus. and then i had a panic attack cause snorkeling makes me uber claustrophobic. and we went to the other side of the island and swam in the ocean. and we did a waterfall hike last week. which was alot of fun EXCEPT! i'm the shortest one in our group. the other girls are quite a bit taller than me, which doesn't bother me except when we're hiking and their legs move so much faster than mine.. when me and Rye hike we always go at my pace... but this was NOT the case. it was a good workout though! and it was soo much fun! i'll put up some pictures in a few for those of you who don't have facebook.

i still have a few weeks before Rye gets back. and i am so excited to have him back. i haven't been able to talk to him since friday hopefully sunday or monday i will get to. if so i'll update you on how he's doing. Riley's sister and her family moved from st george to Logan this past week. so my prayers have been with Riley's parents. they had a hard time when we moved away. so i know they are probably having a really hard time with this. i really do love Rye's family. all of them! they are so amazing, and nice, and they treat me like i belong and have always been part of the family. the Gardiner's/Wynn's/Washburn's... i've never felt like just that girl that Riley married when he was fresh out of high school so thank you all! even though you all probably thought i was pregnant and that's why we got married. that's ok, i would have thought the same thing had i been in your shoes. and if i was and thats why we did get married i don't think any of you would have looked down upon me. but that wasn't it. i met Rye when i was 15, started dating when i was 16. and i fell in love with him. anyone that really knows us, can tell you that we are soul mates, and are perfect for each other... we act like newlyweds all the time. he's my very best friend ever. so on that really mushy not i'll leave you! 

OOOOH P.S. ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS TIFFANY GOT HER HUSBAND BACK LAST NIGHT FROM AFGHANISTAN. I AM SOOOOOO HAPPY FOR HER!!!!!! Welcome Home Lincoln Op'Toff we all love and missed you! we're sooo proud of you!!!! and you were in the Gardiner's nightly prayers every night. Your wife missed you sooo much, and she is an amazing woman!

please continue to pray for all of our troops overseas. My good friend Jesse's husband is still over in Afghanistan. and i will continue to pray for him until he returns safe and sound. just keep in mind those who are sacrificing time with their families for your safety. cause it's a tough job. having to miss birthday's, christmas's, anniversary's... it's not easy at all. but someone has to do it.

as always thanks for reading, if you do. hopefully i've entertained you at least a little.

Semper Fi
Sav Gardiner

I Really Miss Him.

So Riley left this last friday for training in California. he'll be gone for about 5 weeks and some change. and i was doing ok. he's been able to call every night and it's been AMAZING to hear his voice. and then yesterday and today he surprised me by calling really early in the morning. and it's crazy how much the sound of that boy's voice can cheer me up. so then, why is it that as i sit here trying to get tired enough to sleep, that a few tears are escaping. I'm a strong girl. i know that i am. and it hasn't even been a week this time. i don't know i'm just really depressed, and i miss him like crazy. maybe it's cause our anniversary is next week, and he won't be here. not that it's been a huge production in years past. but every year i roll over to him around 4 am and just whisper "Happy Anniversary Cute Bum" and in return i ALWAYS get him turning around and pulling me close. i like it when he holds me really close like that. it's like there is nothing else in the world but me and him. i've been the luckiest girl in the world these last 7 years to have him in my life. and even luckier the last 4 to be able to have been married to the most amazing boy i've ever known. i will love him until my last breath. and even some in the next life :) sure we've had our ups and downs in the past few years. but nothing too tremendous, and with the foundation we have built... nothing it bringing us down. we know whats important and whats not. you know you're a military couple when you don't care if it's freezing, or it's hot and humid. or if the bed you're sleeping on has a plastic covering and you feel like a 5 year old. or if you are cramming into a twin bed. you're grateful for the twin bed, because you get to share it. and after driving back and forth every weekend while he was still in training. we were pretty broke from getting a hotel every single weekend. but i'd take broke and being able to see him than being loaded and alone.

So Rye, if you are reading this. please know how much i absolutely adore you! and i miss you alot. but as you already know. i'll be patiently waiting for you. and you're worth it every time. i will always wait for you. you're the only boy i'll ever love. and probably the only one that would ever put up with me :) you do so much for me, and for that i'm extremely thankful. and thank you for Deezul, even though he can't stop the tears from falling on lonely nights like this, he licks them right off my face and chin. and reminds me that i have too much to smile for to be crying. I Love You Cute Bum, always.
~Your Sav

All By Myself!

So here we are again. Riley is gone, yet again. and i'm up late... haha big surprise there eh? i swear when he is home we are in bed and asleep by 8:30 but here i am at midnight, WRITING A BLOG!!! Rye will be in California for a month-ish for a training for his upcoming deployment. so i'm holding down the fort with little Deezul. it's nice having him though. today after the boys left my new friend Megan let me know that her and Shauncy(my OTHER new friend) were having a movie night tonight and asked if i wanted to join. so i ran home and put Deezul in his room just in time for Megan to pick me up.

so we went by her work cause they wanted some desserts. she works at a Coffee shop off base but in the next town. so they ordered their food and we sat down to chit chat. so then one of the guys working brings us over a circular brownie with whip cream on top and chocolate drizzled and strawberry slices and tells us that he thought he'd bring us a free dessert. so there we are 3 married Marine wives swooning over how sweet that gesture was. so I took the first bite since i didn't order another dessert. and it tasted like ground up coffee. but he was looking over at us, so i smiled and tried soo hard not to gag. Megan licked some whip cream and Shauncy ate a strawberry slice. and told him it was good. then i very quietly told them how NASTY this brownie was. so they both tried it.

so then the boy who we THOUGHT was nice and sweet comes over laughing and appologizing.. apparently because Megan is the new girl at work, they had to play a joke on her... BOOOO. it WAS ground up coffee... eww try getting THAT out of your mouth... yuck. it WAS pretty funny though. when we were almost done he brought us a REAL free dessert and it was pretty dang yummy!

So then we went back to Megan's house to grab a frozen pizza, and her EVIL neighbor yelled at her because me and Shauncy were stomping too loud.. ok so we were stomping to piss them off cause they are SOOOOOO mean to Megan.. and we've just about had it.. MORE to come on that eventful story in the coming weeks. anyway so movie night at Shauncy's was fun, we were all falling asleep on eachother on the couch, but we made it through the movie. and then when i came home. i wasn't scared like i normally would have been coming to an empty apartment. instead i had a light on. and a Puppy who was more than excited that mom was home. and suddenly everything was ok. i think he KNOWS when Rye is gone, and tries to make me less sad. he's a good pup. as i'm typing this i'm laying on my bed with legs propped up and my laptop on my legs and stomach. and he has burrowed under my legs like a tent... i think that means it's time for bed.

So while i don't get to have my amazing husband in bed holding me tonight... i at least get a snoring puppy who will somehow end up right next to my face. hey, it beats being completely and utterly alone.