Happy December!

I get my husband home this month!!!!!!!! That is the ONLY info I can give right now.

This weekend I decided to clean out my closets and get rid of quite a few items that I don't understand why I still have them! So far just from posting some stuff on facebook I have made $170.... Which pretty much covers the Christmas shopping damage I did this weekend for the small child (sorry Riley) hopefully I can get some more of this stuff out of here! Cause I need to make room, Miles is slowly taking over all the free space in the house :)

I went to the craft store this weekend to get some supplies for a few projects, a welcome home sign, Miles' 3 month onesie and some other super fun craft stuff.

I really wish I was blogging more, BUT I use all my free time to work on projects. Why do I ALWAYS overwhelm myself with projects while Rye is gone. I have to get our new bed built in the next like weekish (that is my timeline I gave myself) When Rye gets home he is going to help me sand down and stain this table as red as I can get it!


I WAS going to put some pictures there but apparently I ran out of storage space on my blog for pictures... Anyone know if I will attain more storage at the beginning of the year. or am I going to have to purchase storage? I mean $2.50 isn't a terrible price a month, But how many people actually read my blog anyway... Is it worth PAYING for pictures? I know Riley reads it, and when he is away it is nice for him to keep up to date... We will revisit this issue.

Miles is going to be 3 months old the day after tomorrow. Time sure does fly! He rolled onto his belly for the first time today. Riley was able to see him do it over Skype! Well we both actually missed the first time... little Roman saw it instead. He pulls up to stand, and holds his head up like a champ! He's VERY physical and has been trying desperately to become mobile for WEEKS. I fear we may have an early crawler on our hands. I am NOT ready for him to be mobile. Deezul is just getting used to him, and I know he is not ready for Miles to be able to go after him. Lord help us all when the day finally arrives.

Cloth diapering is still going awesome. I only use disposables with the babysitter now. She MAY be cool with cloth, but I haven't ever asked her. I don't want to burden her at all. Also she is very well priced, and Miles only goes 2 days a week for like 4 hours, I think I can afford diapers for that time!

Speaking of cloth diapering, have I mentioned that it is addictive yet? Yikes. Wait until you guys see my next post about my stash. I would include pictures... But blogger hates me, and your curiosity.

The house is being decorated for Christmas and I am beyond excited. I cannot wait to see Riley and Miles on Christmas morning :)

Also I think I am A-OK if Riley decides to get out of the Marine Corps. I know that it is really hard on him to be away from us (especially Miles(And Deezul)) I really really like Rye, so I wouldn't mind having him around 24/7 again. He's my best friend :)

I really do love blogging, I have just been so busy. I will try to stay on top of it though!

Cloth Diapering

Alright I've been Cloth Diapering for nearly 7 weeks now. This will be my first official reviews and tips post. Keep in mind, every baby is completely different. I am still super new to this and don't pretend to know even HALF of what I need to know. So please be understanding. This is just what is working for ME at the moment. This will be the first of MANY cloth diaper posts, and hopefully if you were thinking about cloth diapering or currently are, I will be able to provide some kind of insight. I will include pictures as well!

My Stash

• 14 Bumgenius 4.0- I LOVE these... can I just say how much I LOVE these! I stuff them with the large adjustable insert with the fatter part up front since boys tend to pee towards the front of a diaper. I have not had ONE leak in these. They are the first diapers that I reach for. I have 8 or 9 that are snaps and the others are velcro. I will always try to set aside the velcro so that I have them ready for the middle of the night change. It's much easier to slap the velcro closed than to try to line up the snaps on the right setting in the dark. 
• 3 fuzzibunz pocket- So far I give these 1 1/2 stars... I had leaks EVERY time I put these on. I hear nothing but awesome reviews on these so I have been super frustrated. But I just adjusted the settings and I THINK AND HOPE AND PRAY that I fixed the issue. the first time I put him in it after the change and I didn't have a leak... So we will see. I really want these to work. So stay tuned, I really do believe they have the potential to be amazing diapers
• 5 flip Covers- No complaints about these. HOWEVER no one told me that there are special inserts you can put in the flip that is able to touch baby's skin (cause normal microfiber inserts CANNOT touch baby) I think I may end up ordering some of these (shhh don't tell Riley)
• 2 bumkins pocket-I loved these. They were in my most used pile. They are super cute, I especially love his turtles print. Recently though they started leaking, so I am actually stripping them right now. Hopefully stripping them fixes the problem. Cause I love these. I try to stuff these with the same bum genius adjustable insert. If I don't have any left I use 2 smaller inserts
• 2 Grovia All in One's- I have 1 infant and 1 one size. These are fantastic. They are normally a little pricey, but I got them both on a Grovia seconds sale. The infant one has leaked the past 2 times. I'm stripping it right now but honestly, I think he may have just outgrown it... This makes me sad. I really love his little robot diaper.
• 3 MG baby pocket (I think it's cool that it says MG baby... get it... Miles Gardiner... Yup I'm a nerd)- Love these. I got through all 3 with every load (which I do every other day) I stuff them the same way. I am also able to use these as night time diapers, which is always a plus! 
• 3 lotus bumz pocket-I like these, but don't love the colors that I have... which is a stupid reason not to use them, but I find myself passing it for a cuter one... other than that I don't have any complaints about how they work. I don't worry about these leaking and just stuff them the same way.
• 1 small Baby beehind cover- This cover is AWESOME I absolutely love the velcro on it. It's not normal velcro and sticks to every part of the diaper so I am not limited to the small velcro tabs. 
• 3 random brands that came in the mail and I don't love the colors... So I will probably pass them on to someone---- Honestly I've never used these.
• 3 large and 2 medium workhorse- I am going to try the medium and see how it works, he might still be too small, but we shall see. 
• about a dozen infant prefolds- I use these with a snappi under a cover. Sometimes I will just fold it in thirds and set it in the cover, that seems to work as well. You just have to make sure you change it within the 2 hours. 
• about a dozen and a half newborn prefolds- I WAS using these... I suppose I could use these to stuff diapers now. 
• a billion microfiber inserts- I know a lot of people complain about these inserts. They come with virtually every diaper you order, and so far I haven't had any issues... however I am very new at this. 

Also I have some new additions to my stash... Cloth diapering is an addiction. So please know that going into it! 

These are my new Thirsties covers.

I am SO excited to try the thirsties. I hear awesome things about them, and I got the inserts to go with them.

Alva baby pocket diapers

I was wanting to try these and so I am pretty stoked to be able to do so!

My poor little robot diaper... You lived a good short life... I'm sure the next baby G will love you. 

Also did you notice my new rug... I love it!

Wash & Care

Currently I am doing laundry every 2-2 1/2 days. I WAS using charlie's soap but when that ran out I decided to try and make my own. I ended up making some with Borax, Washing soda, and oxi clean. I also added a little peppermint oil. So every time I do laundry my whole laundry room smells slightly of candy canes (LOVE). I use 1 TBSP of this in each load. I even started using it for my normal laundry. I am completely in love with this. It is also much cheaper than paying $30 for a tub of soap that will only last 80 loads. I throw my diapers in on the sanitize setting and then dry the inserts and hang all the covers and diapers out to dry over night. So far so good. I only have slight staining on a few of the diapers and I need to try and sun them to bleach them out. I am curious how well sunning actually works... anyone know? 

I still highly recommend having a wet bag (or 3). I need to get a big one for the nursery, but so far my three little bags have worked out great! 

I am only using disposables when I go to church (his church clothes fit better with them) and if I'm out and about in town for a long period of time. I find that he will have blow outs and leak in disposables, and NOT in cloth

So far I am in LOVE with this whole thing. It's working out awesome for us. If you have any questions of tips for me, leave a comment! 

DIY-er

So about 3 1/2 - 4 years ago I bought a table in the clearance section of IKEA. It was baby pink and hideous, but was discounted down to $6 for a scratch at the top. I had been looking for a little table and decided that with Riley's background of helping his dad with woodworking that he could do a little transformation for me.

He tried to get me to sand it, but ever since I was little the sound of sandpaper makes me cringe. It's far worse than nails on a chalkboard. Pretty sure I batted my eyes to get him to sand it, I just had to hang out in the garage with him. I then watched him spray paint this horrid table from baby pink to black. He did an amazing job, and I was SUPER sad when he gave that table away to one of the Marines after the last deployment.

Prior to moving to Hawaii I did not really believe in DIY. All the projects I attempted turned out SUPER cheesy looking. Upon my arrival I was busy house training a puppy, which gave me extra time to kill. I started following a few amazing DIY blogs and the ideas started flowing. At first I would have to replicate their ideas as close as I could. But as time goes on I find myself able to come up with ideas and able to execute them. Last deployment I bought some old windows and made a wall hang out of one of them. this next week I plan to transform it into a christmas decoration... I am really excited since I already have everything I need for the project and it won't cost me a dime.

I also recently scored a table at the Salvation Army (yes I remember that I said I was boycotting them.. but for $40 I was willing to call a temporary truce.) It is large and has 2 leafs.. Now I just need some chairs for this amazing find. At first my plan was to sand it down and paint it white. Then find lots of chairs and paint them a rainbow of different colors... BOOOO-RING, it's been done a hundred times on pinterest. Then as I stood at the wall of spray paint at the home depot, inspiration hit. WA-BAM. I would paint the table Colonial Red (by rustolium) and then find some chairs to paint white. GENIUS. I bought the paint and headed home, uber proud of myself. Soon I was telling Rye of my plans when he suggested that I STAIN the table instead of paint. Never done it before but after looking up red stained objects I decided that is what I REALLY want. I called my father in law who just walked me through the process... so hopefully I will be able to get this project done in the next week.

I am so grateful that I was able to find inspiration in what others do. I'm also grateful for the talent and ability to DIY. I know that others are not able/willing to do this, so I am thankful that I have the skills and talent needed for such projects!

Competition

Why do people feel the need to compete with others? I understand the primal need to "be the best" but why does EVERYTHING in life have to turn into a competition? I don't see the point.

In middle and high school we (girls) felt the need to compete with each other for the attention of boys. We were all absolutely too hard on ourselves constantly comparing our thighs or length/thickness of hair. Things that we honestly had little control over. I know that on multiple occasions I compared myself to my best friend (Lauren) and never once did I put myself in the "winning" category. She was skinny, and gorgeous and incredibly talented. She was also (and still is) my best friend. Sure the boys I liked often had little to no interest in me except to see if I could put in a good word with Lauren. But I was selling myself short on a tremendous level. Sure I was average height, didn't have long legs and was (and still am) incredibly awkward. But in high school I was talented, I had lots of friends, and I was beyond passionate in my hobby's (Debate team, and Acting up). Now if you ask Riley he will tell you what a nerd (aka loser) I was. And that if we had gone to the same high school we definitely would NOT have dated. Yet, he dated me KNOWING what a nerd I am. I used to be embarrassed to admit I was a debate nerd. But when I get worked up over a political issue I see him smile at the way I get myself totally overworked. Ya he is probably making fun of me in his head... but I'd like to think that my passion for nerdy things is one of the many reasons he adores me.

So competing during our teenage years DOES make sense to me. I see why people do it. But after you are married.... what is the point? I know people that like to try and compare their marriage to others. What gain do you get from that. Riley and I have an amazing relationship, we are best friends and enjoy each other more than other people... but how would it benefit me to compare or belittle another couple that has a COMPLETELY different relationship. With 2 people that are completely different from us? NOTHING. My marriage will be what it will be. Whether I compete with others or not. When my friends have great marriages, I don't feel the need to compare. I am genuinely happy for them, and possibly take note as to how I could improve my own marriage. The way I see it, I want all my friends to be in healthy and happy relationships.

Children. I know I am new to the whole parenting thing... but it's coming pretty naturally to me. I think 24 is the PERFECT age to have a kiddo (at least for me). I know that I would not have had the patience that I currently have. I would not have been so laid back either. It's crazy how much growing up I did in the 6 years we were married BEFORE Miles showed up. But it seems to me that every mom  makes motherhood into a competition.People question/judge your every decision and expect you to do the same. Just because I chose to cloth diaper does NOT mean I look down on you for using disposables. If I make a face when you talk about how expensive diapers are, it's only because I honestly have NO idea how much diapers end up costing, and you are probably blowing my mind! I don't let my son listen to music blaring. Not because I want him to be in quiet all the time. It's because I did research and made a decision. And I don't care HOW you feed your child... Just feed them!

Body type. Let's be honest here, I am not a size 1. Are ya shocked?! Weight is something I have always struggled with, Even now, I run and run and run and the scale won't move, even when I am eating very well. I can't compare myself to Lauren anymore. My body will NEVER look like hers. It won't look like anyones. I am me. I need to learn to be happy in my own skin... deflated balloon of a belly and all. While I wanted to avoid stretch marks the ones I have (while ugly) are a reminder that after years of trying and treatments. And all the heartbreak. I was able to carry my little man for a full 9 months. So many would KILL for that chance. So I try to remind myself as I am judging myself in the mirror, That I wanted this. My chest (partly since I'm nursing and partly from genetics) is GINORMOUS at this time. I mean out of control. While I have always hated being busty, It reminds me that I am able to nurse my son and provide life to him.

Anyway that Is my rant for the night. I just want to be happy with myself, and with the life I am trying to raise my son into. I will post again tomorrow, But I need to hurry and pump and go to bed. I'm exhausted!

Milf Monday- Slow Moving

Well I made it through week 1 of my workouts! I can't believe I did it! There was more than a few times that I really just wanted to be lazy and use the excuse that I just had a baby, and if I wanted to I could sit on the couch and eat granola bars all day! Not saying I didn't do that.. I'm just saying I fit in my workouts!

I know I've said it before but just to clarify, at this point I am not restricting calories. I want to make sure that Miles has enough nutrition. I'm making healthier choices, and not indulging as I did while pregnant (which wasn't ever too extreme). In December I will likely start counting calories if I am not seeing any change in myself.

Alright so here is the breakdown of my weeks workouts

• Monday- 2 mile run. I did this VERY slow, 29:45 to be exact. Yup go ahead and mock. I ran through 1 song and then walked the next. It felt really slow, and I was sure that everyone that drove by was making fun of me... but I'm ok with that. I had an almost 4 week old kiddo with me. They can laugh all they want, You gotta start somewhere!
• Tuesday- Lifted weights to workout arms and abs. Putting Miles to bed at 7 has been amazing. I'm able to squeeze in a workout, or get some housework done! 
• Wednesday- 2 mile run. I cut 1:50 off mondays time. Woot Woot!
• Thursday- Lifted weights to workout chest and back. I also did an ab workout.
• Friday- Should have been a run day, but since I was planning on a longer run for Saturday, I decided to use this as a rest day. Riley however guilted me into getting my butt upstairs and lifting. So I worked out my shoulders
• Saturday- I did my nearly 4 mile run. It was TOUGH. I'm not going to lie. There were A LOT of times that I had to convince myself that I needed to finish the run, and NOT take the shortcut back home. It's true, running is a total mind game!

I don't really want to put these pictures up.. But I'm going to. I only lost .8 lbs this week... but hey, thats nearly a pound less than I weighed last monday! I'm moving in the right direction! I am now 4.6 lbs above my pre pregnancy weight. Here's to hoping I continue to do well and am able to stick with this fairly easily!

This is last week... so my starting picture. 

Week 2. This is POST run, So yes I am gross and sweaty. And don't you be judging my socks!

The Pumpkin Patch

I have finally established some sort of a reliable schedule, Thank goodness! I decided that for my own sanity I wanted Miles in bed at 7. I thought it would be a good idea to set that up early so it's not a hassle later on. So we have bath time at 6:30 and he either eats right before or right after that. and He is in bed by 7, asleep before 7:30. For the next few hours I am able to have "me time". On my lifting days I'm able to go into our home gym room and workout, and only be a room away from Miles. Then I relax in bed while I fold laundry, or hang out on the always enjoyable pinterest. I pump during the 9-10 time frame so that when he wakes up between 12-1 I can pop a bottle in his mouth and we can both drift back off until usually around 6-ish. I am extremely blessed to have such a great sleeper. I APPRECIATE that God has given me that! I'm hoping by praising the gift he gave me, that he won't feel the need to "teach me a lesson" or humble me...

So quick fitness update. I had decided that Monday would be my first day back working out. Holy Crap! Monday and Wednesday I ran 2 miles (run/walk) Tuesday and today I walked lots, and lifted weights. My arms and abs are killing me from Tuesday! I just finished working out like an hour ago, and I can already tell that my chest/back is going to be feeling it! And I worked my abs again... So I can plan on a continuation of the soreness in that area. Here is to hoping that I start to see a change soon-ish. I don't hate my body, I see it as a price to pay for my little miracle. However, I would like to be able to wow myself when I look into the mirror. Next baby I will absolutely be lifting weights throughout the whole pregnancy, I learned my lesson the hard way. Starting over is no fun!

Ok so on to todays main blogging subject... THE PUMPKIN PATCH!!! I'm sure you saw my pictures on facebook... but in case you didn't I will include some. I set my alarm for 6AM to make sure that Miles didn't let me sleep in. I knew we would have to leave the house around 8-ish. I got up and tried to get ready before waking up Miles to eat. He woke up at 6:40 when I was 80% ready and was hungry. Amazingly we made it over to the pumpkin patch like 10 minutes early. The patch is designed for young kids, but obviously not for 1 month old babies. I figured we would show up, mingle with the girls from work, pick out his pumpkin and head home. I didn't want to wait in line for the hay ride... just to hold either a sleeping or hungry/crying baby.

I made sure to bring cash. Last year they sold the fresh squeezed lemonade in the mason jars, as well as the fresh picked corn. They had no such booth this year and I was severely disappointed by this!

Yes that is a sliver of the ocean you see in the picture... Ahhhh-mazing

Picking out his pumpkin!

Miles and Mom

I did NOT match us on purpose. 

 And since you have been patient in reading my long blog posts lately... here are some of the pictures I got back from one of the photographers! She did an awesome job, and I am very grateful to have gotten more shots of my little guy! He's already growing up so fast!

Those blue eyes KILL me! 

Lil' blue eyes throwing up stones!

Looks like a fighter with his eye

Time of birth

He is wrapped up in a scarf that Rye brought me back from Afghanistan.

Oh I love his smile. Can't wait till I get to see it more often!

Milf Monday- 1st Run Ever As A Mom

So this morning I embarked on the new adventure of post baby body rejuvenation.

It was tough! I left the house, started my pandora Nsync station and was all ready to walk the first leg for a good long warm up... except my neighbor who is not very neighborly was leaving her house and giving me her judgmental eyes she likes to use when she stares me down... So I took off running. Ya I never fully grew up, It's like when I was 12 with a cast on my arm, walking on the beach in Oregon and I saw the cute boy so I tried to walk all "hippy" except I didn't have hips, or coordination. I still have the scar on my knee from that little mishap! Anyway, the plan was run 30 seconds- 1 min and then walk for 2-3. I just don't do well with starting uber slow. I just couldn't do it. So I ran 1 song and walked 1 song. Nsync radio let me down today, it wanted to play all the amazing SLOW boy band songs. I had to switch over to Today's Adult Hits.

My run went really well, My right shin hurt, but that is normal for my runs. I need a new pair of running shoes but am waiting until the next shoe sale on base. Miles slept for the entire run (THANK GOODNESS) and the Bob stroller is ahhhh-mazing. Seriously I even thought about having to correct it, and it was already done! Totally worth the money if anyone out there is looking for a recommendation.

I will not be running everyday, tomorrow I will either lift, or maaaaaybe get out one of Riley's yoga dvd's. Ok let's not lie, Yoga probably isn't going to happen. On my non running days I plan on taking Deezul and Miles out for a good walk, just to make sure we get out and around the neighborhood.

I just downloaded the app runstar, I got the free version till I realized I wanted the full version, so I paid the 5 bucks for it. It is the first app I have ever paid for though, so I don't feel guilty! I will check in with you and let you know how I like it!

Stats
Weight - +5.4lbs from pre baby weight.
I don't know what other stats I should put up... I'll get back to you on that!

I took day 1 pictures, but the memory card is downstairs. I will update with those pictures probably tomorrow. But for now here is a few pictures from my run this morning! Way to start out a month, with a good run!

Miles' outfit for the day, courtesy of  Nana Gardiner

Asleep in the stroller, PERFECT!

Starting one of my walking breaks... more than 1/2 way!

This is my Napoleon Dynamite yessssssssssss face, I finished my first workout as a mom!!!

Cloth Diapering In Practice

So I have been researching cloth diapering for YEARS, no I'm not exaggerating. I first wanted to do it in 2008, Riley shot down that Idea... thankfully he came around once I showed him the research and the truth about how it actually works.

My total cost to this day is $320 for all the cloth diapers I have. That includes my stash of about 35-ish pocket & All in One's, 7 covers, and 30-ish prefolds (just newborn and infant size at the moment). I have only 1 snappi, but have a package of 10 in my cart on amazon right now.

The past 2 1/2 days I have put Miles in cloth during the daytime when we are downstairs. After his bedtime bath I put him in disposables for the night and until the late morning that is what he stays in. We still have lots of disposables that were given to us, no use in wasting them! I had to buy an extra pack of newborn diapers with the umbilical cord cutout, 1 package of huggies cost $13 for 60 something diapers.. .That is ridiculous! How do people afford to diaper a child?! He waits till I change him to finish pooping! So now I have to wait a good 10 minutes after the first sound to make sure he's done.

So far we have had 1 leak. And it was a user error. I did not tighten it properly, or he may still be too small for that particular one. So far it's been pretty easy! My only issue is that I can't tell when he's wet. It seems to stay the same bulkiness, and I don't want to have to test it with my finger... So I will go off and do my research for another way! I didn't think that I would like doing prefolds, but I don't mind it at all! it's nice to be able to just wipe off the cover with a wipe and stick on another pre fold, rather than have to put on a whole new diaper.

I highly recommend wet bags! I need to order a big one, but so far my little ones have worked. I'm doing my first load of dirty diapers tomorrow. I'm using Charlie's soap. I've been using it on his clothes and I really like it so far!

If you have zero interest in cloth diapering... I'm sorry for boring you with this post... but I'm sure you'll get over it! Tomorrow is my first day back working out. So I will be posting my first post-baby body picture... It won't be pretty, but it will be good for accountability!

I'll leave you with pictures of Miles in his cloth diapers. If you follow me on instagram, these may look familiar!

 This is Mr G in his first cloth diaper ever! A pre fold with a flip cover. It's a one size cover, and I was able to get 5 of these on seconds sale for I think $5 or $6 a piece. These were the first cloth diapers I purchased, so it seemed fitting to be the first I put him in! These are still a tiny bit loose around his legs, but still fit snug enough that I haven't had a leak yet.

 Mr G is sporting a prefold, and a Bee cover... I can't read the full name, it might be Bee Baby. it's a size small cover. This one worked REALLY well, and the velcro was able to be pulled super tight and it stuck to any part of the diaper which was nice seeing as it overlapped the other strap by a bit. I also got this one on zulily I believe.

 This one is not a diaper one.... This is Miles drunk on milk, and I love it!

He started screaming (for no reason I might add). So being the awesome mom I am I snapped a picture before picking him up and setting his world right again. He's wearing a MG Baby pocket diaper... I bought a few of these on zulily for I think $10, So far I love these, I've used 2 of them, they fit well and zero leaks. This one was REALLY full when I changed him since he wore it on our evening walk. So this is one I would recommend if it comes back on zulily!

I'm a Cow

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Happy Birthday Miles!

Here is the long awaited birth story, only 3 weeks later (oops). Also I apologize again for TMI... I'm going to try and recount the day moment by moment. I will start by saying that it was probably the most emotionally draining day of my entire life. There were no rainbows and fluffy bunnies... It was freakin rough.
September 5th 2012
We got the call from the hospital at 11:45 pm on the 4th. The nurse told us to be there by 1:30. So we woke up got out of bed, woke the moms up, gathered the hospital bags and loaded them in the car. We took Deezul outside to pee one last time, and tried to make sure that we had everything we would need.  Thinking back, I should have eaten something. We had dinner at 6:30, but I was so worried about not making it there by 1:30 that stopping for food wasn't even in my thoughts. Lesson learned.

1:30- Arrived at Labor & Delivery. We were told we would be in room 8. The midwife took Rye and I back so we could get settled before our moms came back. We entered the room with our bags, took one last belly picture and talked while I put on the awesomely horrid gown about how excited we were and how exciting the day was going to be.

2 am- I was laid down and given my IV. The moms joined us and we settled in for a long night/day. My nurse asked to go over my birth plan with me so she knew what expectations I had.

I have ALWAYS said that the most important thing to me was a healthy baby and delivery. So while I did have a birth plan, I saw it as more of a dream list... knowing that it would be naive to think I wouldn't have to sway from it at all. Here were the basics-

• Pain med free
• Delayed cord cutting
• Skin to skin right away
• Calm lighting 
• limited monitoring 
• External monitoring preferred
• Avoid C-section

We will revisit that plan at the end of the post. 

2:20am- I had a foley bulb placed to help dilate my cervix manually. 

2:20-6ish- Contractions continued but were light enough I just had to do a little breathing. They just felt like bad menstrual cramps. We watched Princess and the frog and other movies I had packed. Riley and both our moms found places to crash out and get a few more hours of sleep. I was in and out, never fully getting to sleep. 

7AM- I was checked. The midwife said I was at 4cm still 80%. The foley bulb came out and she talked to me about breaking my water to really get things going. This is something I had wanted to avoid, but it wasn't UBER important to me. I agreed that we get the show on the road. Holy crap, that hurt. I was told it doesn't really hurt... ya well it did for me! She told me from this point on they expected me to progress approx 1 cm an hour, give or take. 

Contractions got real after my water was broken. I started having to breath and focus during these. The tiles above me had fish carved into them. So each contraction I would count the bubbles on the tiles until the contraction was over. This worked. I was able to breath through them, no big deal. 

8:30AM- Miles started showing the first signs of distress. His heart rate would drop after each contraction. I lay in the bed, trying to focus on breathing through contractions but also worrying that each contraction brought the possibility of Miles heart rate dropping again. 

10AM- Nurse made a bet with me that I would give birth before lunch and would finally be able to eat. The Midwife checked me, I had only progressed to 5cm. The worrying thing was that I had lost my focus during contractions because everyone was buzzing around trying to keep Miles out of distress. Every contraction everyone stared at the monitor. She told me that at this point if I wanted to avoid a C-section she highly recommended I get an epidural so that my body relaxed as much as possible, and hopefully would relax Miles as well. 

She left so we could talk about it. I had a meltdown. I felt like I was handling labor like a champ. I was breathing and felt like I was doing ok. I mean I wasn't singing or anything but I was doing ok. This was the one HUGE thing I had planned to avoid, and it felt like it was being ripped away from me. The second she had walked out to let us decide, my focus was COMPLETELY gone... and I was suddenly in a lot of pain with every contraction. Rye and I talked through it, I already knew my answer would be yes. I was worrying already about Miles, and would do anything to try and ensure that he not be put under any more stress than he had to. Crying and in pain I looked to Riley, tears in his eyes and a look that I don't see on his face often... He was having a tough time. I'm usually the strong one in our relationship. When things get hard, I put on a brave face. So when I am the opposite of tough, he struggles to have to sit and watch, unable to do anything about it. We had a few tear filled moments before the doc came in to stick a huge needle in my back. After having what felt like acid being injected into my back I was laid back down and put back on the monitors. 

At this point they decided that since I could not feel anything that they would put in an internal monitor so they could up my pitocin level to get things moving. The worlds most glorious nurse came in with two otter pops and let me enjoy some heaven on earth! 

10-5- My contractions continued, we continued to watch Miles HR drop drastically with every contraction. multiple times they would start to lose his HR and they would have to quickly flip me to one side or the other to try and get his HR back up. Rather than relaxing I was worried, really worried. It didn't seem normal the amount of distress he was in. I kept praying that when she came to check me at 5 that I would be close to done so we could get him out of there. At about 4 it was just Riley, Shaunci and I in the room we were talking when suddenly we lost Miles HR almost completely. I watched the horror on Rileys face as he threw himself over me to reach the nurses button to push it. not a second later we had the nurse run into our room... This was NOT turning out to be the magical event I was hoping for. At this time I was put on oxygen (I don't remember what this was for)

5PM- Midwife came in to check me. We were hoping I would at least be at an 8. She checked me, double checked with the nurse what I had been at 10, and then looked at me grimly to inform me that in 7 hours, I had not progressed at all. Normally this would not be a problem, they would just let me labor it out. But our little guy was already not doing well, So she was getting worried. He was falling into distress more often and they were worried that the cord was wrapped around his neck. She ordered that they put a catheter into my uterus to refill it with liquid so that hopefully the cord wouldn't be so tight. She told me at this point she would have to turn me over to the OB's because if I didn't progress by 7PM I would need to do a C-Section, or Miles would be in trouble. I asked for ice chips, but was denied since they all thought I'd be going in for surgery in a short time.

At this point there was a lot of praying going on. I came to the conclusion that if I had not progressed when they came back that I was supposed to have a C-Section. I had 2 hours to come to terms with this and be totally ok with this outcome. The closer the clock got to 7, the more convinced I was that the doc would come in and tell me I had not progressed. They had to take me off the pitocin during this time to try and keep Miles stable. Which meant any contractions I was having were all me. according to the monitor they were not strong enough to cause progression. Which mean I would still be at 5 cm and would be going in for a C-section. 

6pm- I started shivering uncontrollably. They took my temp, I usually run a little cold 97.4 to be exact. At this time I was up to 99

7:30PM- The doc finally rolled in to check me. He looked uneasy and asked the nurse twice what I had been at before. At this point the suspense was killing me, he looked dumbfounded. So I asked the question that everyone was thinking "Did it shrink?!" He looked at me startled and said "No, actually you are at an 8 now, and 100% effaced." WHAT?!?! we had progression!!! 

The nurse checked my monitors at this point and found that one of them was not reading correctly which is why it looked as though the contractions were not strong enough to cause progression. I felt hopeful at this point. I was almost there. And I was going to avoid surgery! My temp at this point was up at 100.4

8:45 pm- The doc came back in to check. I was 10cm and 100%... I was ready to push whenever! We started preparing to start the pushing process. My temp at this point was 101.0. They realized at this point that at some time during the day I had gotten an infection. I would need some tylenol before pushing. The nurse told me she was worried about giving it to me orally cause I would likely throw it up while pushing, and that she wanted to administer it the uhhhh other way. I quickly bartered with her that if she would allow me some ice chips that I would allow her to put tylenol where the sun don't shine. That ice was totally worth it. 

9:05PM- I started pushing, I announced to the room that I was not doing this for more than an hour, and I fully intended on giving birth by 10:05. Pushing is tough, so tough that I made myself dry heave at one point. I probably would have thrown up had I had ANYTHING in my stomach! I pushed like a freaking champ. I didn't care if I crapped on the table, I was going to get that kid out of there! Because of my temperature I was told that he would have to be checked out by the pediatricians and if he had the infection he would have to be taken to the NICU right after birth.

10:00pm- I told everyone that I only had 5 minutes on my clock left and I better get to it. The next part is kind of a blur to me. It had just been the 2 nurses in with us, but all of a sudden about 5 doctors came in followed by 13 more. Something had happened with Miles and they needed to get him out NOW. They were prepping the OR for an emergency C-Section for me but said we'd give it one last ditch effort. I was given the choice of the vacuum or the forceps. I chose the vacuum, I was told we had 3 pushes to get him out or I would be wheeled into the OR. I already had been told by the nurses that I had torn... I'd be damned if I was going to tear AND have to go in for surgery. I was going to push like crazy and I WOULD get him out in those 3 pushes

10:14PM- Almost there

10:16PM- Out popped my little cone headed alien child, cord snuggly around his neck. The cord was cut and he was walked to the other side of the room so they could check him out and make sure he was ok. 

I was in shock. And not the "Oh my gosh I'm a mom and he's amazing" kind of shock. Nope this was the "My body just went through a trauma and I am trying to cope" kind of shock. My shivering continued. I knew that my baby was a few feet away, but honestly couldn't even think about him. I felt awful. something did not feel right. I heard from the other side of the room that he was 8'4 and my mom saying something about how he received a B on his apgar (I think he got 8 out of 10). I did not feel like a champion. I felt like I was laying on the mat with Muhammad Ali prancing above my head. They started on my stitches which took nearly an hour and a half

I was told that I was going to be able to get skin to skin for a few minutes before he would be taken to the NICU, and that Rye would be able to go with him to the NICU. 

I held my baby boy on my chest, I tried to enjoy the moment... and it felt wrong to have to TRY and enjoy that moment. My shoulders were screaming in pain from hours of having to hold them in weird positions trying to keep Miles out of distress. I was shivering an abnormal amount. When I was done holding him, I let the grandma's and Shaunci get a chance. I remember watching them hold my son, and wondering what was wrong with me that I was willing to let him go when I JUST got him. 

11:30 -ish Shaunci and our moms got ready to head out, Riley was heading down to the NICU so the excitement would soon be over. Rye was told that I would be RIGHT down to my room and I would meet him there. The room emptied and soon it was just the nurse and I. She checked my temp again, it was up to 102. I kind of blacked out and when I woke back up she was hooking me back up to another bag of fluids and putting in another catheter. She told me that after my fever spiked, my blood pressure dropped from 120/70 down to 90/50 and my pulse jumped up to 130 while I was asleep. This meant the infection was worse than they thought. I would be kept in the room longer to try and get rid of it as quickly as possible. 

3AM- I was finally done with the infection, and was able to be wheeled down to my room. She opened the door and there was Riley and Miles. And all the love and affection I had some how been cheated out of came pouring out. He was amazing! I felt a wave of relief that I wasn't cold hearted right after birth.. I was just REALLY sick. Pretty much dying (do you hear my over dramatic tone there?)

I asked Rye how long they had been waiting for me. The poor guy informed me that there was another really sick baby in the NICU so he was not able to accompany Miles. They sent him to my room to wait. That was at like 12. Miles showed up 5 minutes before I did... And Rye was not given an update on either of us that entire time. All he knew was that his wife was upstairs sick, and his son was down the hall being assessed. I would have lost my freaking mind if I was him!

So if you look back up to my birth plan. I think the ONLY thing I was able to accomplish on there was that I wanted to be able to give birth vaginally.. and I only BARELY made it out with that one intact!

The Anticipation

These blog posts have been half written for the last 3 weeks... I apologize for that. they are super long and I'm sure contain too much information for most people. I'm using this more for journalistic purposes... So stay with me kids!

Thursday Aug 30~ My appt at the midwives went well, They did my only cervical check of the pregnancy. I was dilated to nearly 2cm and 50% effaced. They did a sweep HOPING it would throw me into labor in the next 24 hours so that Riley would JUST be arriving in time for the birth. My midwife wanted to set Tuesday as an induction date ONLY because Rye would be home for such a short time she wanted to make sure he was here for it. My plan this entire pregnancy was to avoid being induced and to go all natural (no drugs or interventions). The first one kind of went out the window when I learned Riley would be able to come home for my due date. In my mind the worst thing would be for Rye to be here, and STILL miss the birth of his son. OR just be here for a day after. I wanted him to have as much bonding time as possible. So I made the decision along with the midwife that being induced would be a good plan for us. I was still determined to evict this child on my own and was going to do EVERYTHING in my power to get him out before they induced me!

Friday Aug 31~ I got up early, primped, did my hair and make up and anxiously awaited 9 am so I could drive over the the Honolulu airport and pick up my husband. I hadn't seen him in 12 weeks, and instantly we fell right back where we left off. This is one of my favorite things about our relationship, there is hardly an adjustment period when he returns. My mom arrived a few hours later, after picking her up we ran over to do packet pick up for one of the 2 races Riley was going to be running on his R&R. After a few more errands we headed back home to kind of relax for the remainder of the day. The eviction process would begin first thing in the morning!

Saturday Sept 1~ We started the day and weekend with a hike up to the Mokapu'u lighthouse. We went at a normal pace... ok maybe slightly slower than my normal pace, but still not super duper slow! We only stopped a handful of times for me to catch my breath, or breath through a contraction. My mom had never done this hike so it was nice to feel like I wasn't wasting her entire trip on baby stuff... I know if I went to Hawaii on Vaca I would want to do a few fun things! The rest of the day was pretty much spent relaxing since they were both still pretty jet lagged...

Riley and my mom at the halfway point

I made it to the top! 

My mom at the top. Doesn't she look fantastic, she has lost over 40 lbs in like 6 months!

Sunday Sept 2nd~ This day started EARLY. We set alarms for 4AM and were out the door by 4:30. We arrived at the race location about 30 minutes prior to race time. Rye got his chip and lined up for the start. He had asked me a few weeks before he came back to go by him a new black running shirt, and with my Silhouette use the iron on transfer material and make him a Jaxon WILL Wynn shirt. Since as you all know, Jaxon is out of remission and back in the battle. The shirt turned out awesome... But Rye won't run in it again because I didn't get the right shirt material so this one causes nipple chafage (NO GOOD!) After the run we headed home, worked on some stuff around the house, and ended the day with a nice walk with Deezul down to the beach. My mom was still super jet lagged and ended up crashing on the couch at about 7-ish.

Monday Sept 3~DUE DATE!!! I was hoping and praying that Miles would make his debut. I wanted nothing more than to be interrupted in whatever we were doing by my water suddenly breaking (you know, movie style.) Rye and I woke up at 5 AM. The plan had been for him to go pick up his mom by himself, however after not seeing me for 12 weeks... He didn't want to leave me again (That is my explanation at least). When we got the text that his mom had landed we headed out to go get her. We picked her up and on the way back to the house we tried to get breakfast at like 5 places that weren't open either due to the time or the holiday.. So we settled for McDonalds(Lame RIGHT!) We got back to the house and all got ready for a day at North Shore. We piled in the car and drove the nice scenic route to North Shore. By the time we got up there it was lunch time. We found one of the many little shacks and grabbed some grub. The coconut macadamia nut shrimp was FANTASTIC! We ran into a family there that my mom noticed one of the daughters was wearing a Lehi High shirt, so she started a conversation. Most were from Lehi, the others were from St George (It's a small world I tell ya!) Now fed I was happy enough I could enjoy the beach. My mom and Rye went out snorkeling while Shellee and I fought the current with our rafts closer to shore. Sad to say there was NO BABY on this Labor day.

Tuesday Sept 4th~ Induction day! I was told to call the hospital at 7am and receive a time to come in and be induced. So naturally I woke up at like 5:30, took my straightener downstairs and curled my hair in the downstairs bathroom while chatting with my mom and staring at the clock. 7 rolled around and I called the hospital, I was told that I would have to wait until the afternoon and call back again. I was then asked a bunch of questions, upon my answering I was told I should come in to be checked out. So around 9 we headed over to the hospital just to be checked out and make sure that my water had not broken. We waited for a bit, were taken back, I was checked out and told I was Dilated to a good 2 and was now 80% effaced, but NOT leaking fluid. I was sent home with instructions from the midwife to call every 2 hours and see if they had a bed for me. At 7pm the nurse on call called me and asked if I wanted to be put on the middle of the night list JUST INCASE a bed became available. She told me it was highly unlikely as they were crazy busy, but that crazier things had happened. Of course! However Rye and I are very rational and knew that we would not be getting a call to go have a baby. We all went to bed after I apologized to everyone for wasting the entire day pretty much sitting on the couch WAITING for a call that never came. 8:30 we were asleep... At 11:45pm my phone rang.